A Rarely Mentioned Phenomenon I Experience

[clsnowyowl]

I am a long-time sufferer of PTSD (as a result of an armed robbery incident which occurred
27 years ago when I was 20 years old at that time). I understand now all of the other symptoms
and reactions to the incident I still have (with the except of one specific phenomenon I needed
some insight on).

I am still hyper-aroused all through my waking hours and react to sudden loud noises my
wife makes even though she has no intentions to harm me because she has shown she
loves me. I understand my litany of PTSD symptoms like this except for one (by the way,
I literally "go to bed and die" when I sleep and go into a deep catatonic sleep like I
always have through the course of my life, so I don't have any internal sleep difficulties
or bedtime habits).

If someone can answer for me why I have this specific perception, I would really appreciate
it. I have a perception that I am now aware of that I have had for years following the armed
robbery that I never had prior to it- that perception (I refer to it as a sort of "sixth sense") is
the ability to perceive that there is a person behind me within close physical proximity to me
(within 20 feet), even if he, she, or they is really quiet, don't make a noise, or say a word. It
is almost like my exterior "bubble" of personal space can sense or feel when it's being
encroached upon- kind of like some early warning system- especially when the person or
people are behind me. It feels like I have eyes in the back of my head and this is the "gift"
I have now as a result of the armed robbery all of those years ago. I even experience this
when I drive when someone behind me is in a vehicle driving behind me in the same lane
as I am driving in my own separate vehicle in front of that person.

My senses are really heightened even more than usual when this phenomenon I experience
occurs (knowing that I am really hyper-aroused as it is).I also react is though I feel someone
is closing in on or confining me (i.e. situation like a line at a bank or at the store or gas station).
I feel extremely uncomfortable and if the line is a really long wait (like the service desk at
the local Wal-mart is a "lengthy prison sentence"), I also feel agitation because of the awareness
of the fact that others nearby me and behind me in that line are also made to wait ( I am not
so concerned for myself on having to wait, but more for the others).

Other than my "gift" of perceiving people behind me being looked upon as an early warning
system and a source of protection, why do I experience this?

I have some theories about this myself:

1)
It is God's divine way of protecting me.

2)

My mind assumes that others are there to harm me, especially when they cut in front of me
in line or stand behind me to the right or left of me in very close proximity (within 2 inches
of my physical body)- so, my thoughts and actions or reactions are on self-preservation
as a means of avoiding someone "getting the drop" on me ever again (I suppose it's
a permanent reaction to the surprise element from the original robbery).

3)

My mind, and body are in a permanent protection mode. SO the experience I have is
a result of my own hyper-arousal which is a form of coping to the robbery and preventing
some unforeseen future attack.

4)

Someone used force to get full control of me (and my clerk) for 45 minutes and got a light
prison sentence which caused me decades of aftereffects (even with professional help) to the
annoyance of my wife and family.

or, simply, its a combination of these things. Hence, the therapy continues in order to try to
tone down the hyper arousal or hyper sensitivity to these things.

I mentioned these specific things because my reactions happen at the most awkward times
when other people are involved and they get negative perceptions of me because of myself
constantly being in a "protection mode" to avoid getting myself hurt (because what they
say or how they perceive me) hurts. It is really hurtful if my wife mentions that I am acting
weird to some reaction to something (some stimulus) that triggered my hyper-arousal. Sometimes,
when my wife is present and when these awkward situations occur I feel abnormal.

I realize that the armed robbery incident and my reaction to it will always be with me, but some
reactions I have (which is why I get professional help for that) is unnerving, especially
that sixth sense of "feeling" someone behind me if they are in that close range to me. I think
understanding why I experience these things would be good for me so I can either get used to it
and accept it as my new normal or that somehow understanding why might somehow decrease
that hyper-arousal a bit or just to be able to explain it to my wife would be a relief. So, can someone
give me there insight on why I have these experiences? Is this a normal reaction for me?

Thank you for any suggestions or comments.

Sincerely,

"The Snowy Owl"

 

[Sideways]

I go to group therapy with a bunch of people with PTSD twice weekly. It's held at the same time as various other groups like an addiction group and a cbt group.

One of the funny things I've noticed is that in the lift that takes you to the group rooms, most people get in, turn around and face the door. You can always pick the people going to the PTSD group, because almost without exception, we stand with our back against the lift wall. None of us can handle having someone directly behind us, and we've all subconsciously adjusted our behaviour so that when we get into a confined space like a lift, we all automatically put our back to the wall to reduce the perceived threat!

Hyperarousal and exaggerated startle response are 2 of the classic symptoms that people tend to get with ptsd. It can seem a lot like a 6th sense, because all of your senses are constantly working overtime scanning the world around you for potential threats.

Physiologically, it's the primitive "run away from that lion" part of our brain working in overdrive, preventing the more complex risk-assessment parts of our brain from allowing us to chill out. When it becomes chronic, we've had it for a long time, this hyperaeoused state becomes our norm, so we don't "feel" hyperaroused, and it isn't till that person taps you on the shoulder unexpectedly and you jump out of your skin that you even realise!

It can be improved with a good trauma T and some exposure work, working to allow the body and mind to relax a bit more and live more in the present moment than constantly living in fight/flight mode.

 

[mrsmegan]

What I thought of what I read this was because you are in a state of hyper-arousal, your senses are probably also keyed up to an extent that others are not - hearing someone approaching you, feeling the vibration of the ground beneath you - things that would be undetected to an average person, but because you are running at such an increased state of awareness, you notice those things.

 

[OneBloodyMoment]

I am a long-time sufferer of PTSD (as a result of an armed robbery incident which occurred
27 years...

This sounds very much like the Hypervigilance I experience.
It was the first symptom I remember having some 26 years ago. It's still with me and it feels like second nature. I am always "on guard", especially when I'm out of the home. I'm far more aware of my surroundings at all times than others. I find it can be exhausting, both physically and mentally but I honestly believe my body has adapted to some degree. Maybe I've just come to terms with it mentally after finally being diagnosed.
My circumstances are quite different from yours (mine originated from years of child abuse) but this symptom certainly sounds the same. Perhaps seeking out information on Hypervigilance will help you as it has helped me. I wish you the best

 

[clsnowyowl]

As a point of clarification, I did not even hear the person on a few occasions nor did I feel the floor vibrating. I merely "felt" or sensed a presence there. Conceptually, it is like sensing paranormal activity when there's a ghost or spiritual
presence there, but I do this with the living and not the dead.

 

[mrsmegan]

As a point of clarification, I did not even hear the person on a few occasions nor did I feel the floor vibrating. I merely "felt" or sensed a presence there. Conceptually, it is like sensing paranormal activity when there's a ghost or spiritual
presence there, but I do this with the living and not the dead.

Yep - I get it, I am just saying that you may not realize that is what is happened and it feels like a "sixth sense" - not trying to invalidate your experience.

 

[whiteraven]

I get this. I have some folks in my circle who do not have PTSD who have this experience and explain it in terms of energy. Some people are very sensitive to energy fields (we can all become aware of them and this might be part of the reason those of us with PTSD have this special sense, because we are more aware) and can sense others' presence and, even moreso, whether it is a negative or positive energy. Although this may seem odd to people not familiar with it, it is what Eastern medicine bases its foundation on. You've heard of the chakras? They are the energy centers in our body. Very interesting field to read and study about.

 

[Iam43]

I am a long-time sufferer of PTSD (as a result of an armed robbery incident which occurred
27 years...

Hyper vigilance is what I'm told. A coping strategy to protect self. I can totally relate.

 

[Beks]

I get this, I think its pretty normal to sense others without physically feeling/hearing/seeing their presence - like looking at someone and then they look over or vice versa?

 

[clsnowyowl]

The realization here is that it seems like my "normal", which may be strange to others but not to me. I write these experiences so that people will know what it is like to be me and so that clarification and verification produces that feeling of myself and my experiences being validated. Someone here mentioned that they were not invalidating my experiences. I truly appreciate that and want to express that I question things like this not only as apparent defensiveness and need for validation but also for the purposes of clarification so I can truly put the "finger" and a correct label on what it is I am actually experiencing and why, so I can feel some sort of relief.

One would think that it would be a little easier to deal with, especially after 27 years from having been through the experience, years of therapy, conveyance of my experiences to my beloved family, and some knowledge of what is going on with me, so I can survive through it. In some was, things are easier, but there are some things that are still hard about it. The biggest "hard thing" about it is that I was a victim of a crime and even though it was unexpected, someone got the drop on me. I guess my way of coping is to be hyper-vigilant to ensure it doesn't happen again and I do not get into any more of those compromising positions that render myself vulnerable. I guess, that's my psychological "alarm system" and I suppose that from my own experiences, I perceive a potential threat most of the time and try to guard against that.

 

[clsnowyowl]

"I get this, I think its pretty normal to sense others without physically feeling/hearing/seeing their presence - like looking at someone and then they look over or vice versa? "

That is another example of someone looking at me- looking at him/her.