A Suicide Attempt Is Successful When It Fails

[Deleted member 28403]

A topic I've been thinking about a bit.

Once someone successfully commits suicide, it's over, there is no turning back, nothing to be done in life anymore. All is over.

But once someone has had a failed suicide attempt, it will often force them to understand and see the reasons that are keeping them living stronger.

So, this is a thread to say your thoughts on this topic, of what can be learned from a suicide attempt, and the good sides of a failed one.

I'll start I guess:

I've had a suicide attempt a couple months ago, I of course ended up in ER; and afterwards in a closed psych ward. The suicide attempt failed due to sleeping pills not working. Though the thing that was meant to kill me did function. I took a combo. After a while of waiting, my determination to kill myself started to cracking, and 3 hours into suicide and chill I couldn't take it anymore. I checked what to do, how do I prevent myself from dying? On here I got a bit of help from some members, I called ambulance, and then ran out of house, ran about a kilometer to the meet up place (I didn't want my parents to see). I was picked up there, and went to ER and so on...

In the psych ward, I met people who were quite understanding, among patients. It sort of gave me will to live on, seeing people who can understand, as I haven't really shared my trauma with people much. It made me feel better. I also began going to theraphy again, and sort of forced my life on a better course.

All of that wouldn't have happened if I succeded in failing, if I died. But I failed in failing, I didn't die, I got near the edge, but I didn't die. It was sort of a hard reset to my mental state at that time.

 

[Riot]

When I was a teenager, I downed a bottle of NyQuil. I ended up puking my guts out, hallucinating, and blacking out. Nobody was the wiser. It's one of very very few things I've never told anyone about, until recently. Although as an adult, I don't know that if I considered suicide again that I'd go for the NyQuil. (I am a little embarrassed to even admit it, but I did very much want to die.)

 

[Ronin]

I learned it's not a productive form of neither escape, nor fight.

And also that it effects people dear to me in ways I don't quite understand, but don't want them to feel.

Suicidal ideation mostly taught me I need to slow down whatever I'm on about, because I'm missing some key aspects of a situation / available solutions, and also to do self care, because it's misplaced needs and/or wish to avenge someone better and I need to remember my death wouldn't make anyone care, and sadden those that do care.

 

[Riot]

I understand what you mean, @Cashew. I feel you.

 

[Deleted member 28403]

@Cashew
I am recently being taught I need to expand my support circles.

 

[Ronin]

@Saelben - amused snort of 'Me too, amigo. Me too.'.

 

[Deleted member 28403]

Hmm, how are you supportive circles outside this webpage currently, aka the IRL people you can see support circles? @Cashew

 

[Ronin]

@Saelben, state wise, infrequent & instable / those that are stable are people not able to help in any of the areas I need help in. So bit head desky. Better than nothing, so shrug.

 

[Deleted member 28403]

@Cashew
What about others? Like, friends, family? Similar?

 

[Ronin]

@Saelben, friends is who I was talking about / friends and colleagues. Closest, geographically, people to me that are sort of available are in differing European states, currently. It's alright, mostly just a lot of factors crumbling apart the supports I had here :)

 

[Deleted member 28403]

That makes it quite hard...

 

[Ocean5]

@Saelben I grew up around suicide. Emotional topic for me. I was also suicidal when teenager. Decided if I did that the world would win.

Brother tried, but last minute, called 911 for ambulance. He almost didn't make it. In critical care for days.

Proud you made call. Stay strong, and thanks for sharing your story. It will help others.