A tug of war

[Snowflake]

What do you do when you want to kill yourself soooo badly but you know you're too chicken to do anything.

 

[ladee]

You put that energy into finding answers and healing. simple? NO.... doable.... YES.

 

[Bananie]

Appreciate the "chicken" side.
I was in the same place last week. A friend was actually going to call for a mental health arrest for me. I can't say it was any major shift out of thinking about it, but after talking to friends, getting out of my isolation, I just didn't have the intense urge anymore.
Talk about it. Get the pain out.
Lots of love and support from here

 

[Deleted member 541]

@Snowflake Care to share what's going on??? Having a bit more infor might help us to come up with advice.

 

[challenge16]

I feel this way all the time, and then I think honestly of the impact it would have on the people around me.

 

[Snowflake]

@Snowflake Care to share what's going on??? Having a bit more infor might help us...

New memory.

Buried my mom 3 weeks ago. Saw my older brother. Triggered a new memory. Mind has a million voices -I don't understand stuff, can't remember a lot . Feel alone. I want to shut off the voices. I hate me and my life and my memories.

 

[Muttly]

I've been there so many times.

Honest answer, the first part of getting out of it is a trudge. It's taking things moment by moment. It's working on coping skills even when they don't feel effective. Sometimes, those coping skills are keeping things from getting worse. Sometimes those coping skills take time to build up the positive effect. It's reaching out here and other place. It's trying to remember that the memory is a memory and not what's happening now. It's trying to remember that you are in a grieving process and what you feel now is not what you will feel in a month or six months or a year. It's finding a way to manage the voices instead of shutting them off. It's trudging when you think you can't and finding out that really you could. That you aren't chicken, you are strong it just doesn't feel like strength in the moment.

 

[Deleted member 541]

@Snowflake Ok, so I think what you're telling us is that the memory is disjointed, not a full memory? Something my old therapist used to tell me, was to just work with what you do know and if it doesn't make sense, put it away for now. I know this feels awful and you "want to know" but trying to force it, isn't a good way to go. Just try and sit with it.

Memories can make us feel so.......... But they don't have to be the end all. It will come, but now isn't the right time. Hang in there. (Hugs)

 

[GrayOwl]

:hug:
There are people who care.
You ARE important.
Thank you for sharing here.
It's not always easy.
Remember always:
You ARE a special person.