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@Muse ...you are wise....we are wise...we forget it...
You know, I just thought...half my CPTSD has come about from the abuse of people who were trying their damndest to make me stop being wise and seeing through them and their agendas and abuse...OMG, I've gone and gobsmacked myself...how did I never see it that way before!! It was never about me deserving it or being a nutter or being vulnerable...it was about them trying to keep their craziness and nastiness covered up...:eek::arghh;:banghead:
Yes, it is hurtful after all I have been through to be told "you're wrong" about, well, anything. It triggers so much invalidation.
My therapist says it is "re-traumatizing" and it does dredge up a bunch of negative emotions.
Lately I've been wondering why it hurts so much. Essentially, when someone judges me and says I'm wrong, I feel disowned and dismissed or exiled.
Going to a counseling session in which this occurs would be a negative. There has been threads about ways survivors don't think we are worthy of the "best" and end up going to whatever is cheep and common. We get hurt. Then, one day we wake up and realize we've been thinking we didn't deserve "good" therapy or learned the hard way to be choosy about only seeking highly effective and recommended trauma therapists who know their way around PTSD.
My point is, Protect yourself and respect what you have gone through by not telling those who you already know won't understand. Only tell those who you think has the wisdom to deserve your trust.
What about Planned Parenthood? Don't they offer counciling? I am very sorry you are going through this. I hope you have a good support system. Sending loads of strength your way!
If you do get tempted to contact them, can I suggest you ask a friend to contact them first and pretend to be you in your situation so they can watch and judge the response for you and then if necessary shield you from it. I worry that you are in a fragile place and I would like to see you protected (as well as helped).
@[DLMURL="https://www.myptsd.com/c/members/healing-reins.25121/"]Healing Reins[/DLMURL] It's awesome that you're looking for the right resources for what you'd like to work on. Until reading this thread I wasn't sure what abortion counseling really meant- thanks to @Link Removed for such a great explanation. It's a logical idea to think it might be the right place to ask for help, but if it's a faith-based organization I'm going to guess they're not too keen on logic ;)
I can certainly understand the appeal of free counseling though- if cost is an issue I'd try contacting your local health department about affordable mental/behavioral health options. Not sure what part of world you're in, I'm in the US and found help through a low-income medical clinic.