About ready to throw in the towel

[Still Standing]

I am going to be committed over these homework sheets~!!!!! I am so frustrated I just want to cry. I take them out to work on and end up just staring at them. They simply don't make sense to me. When the T and I work on them together, he makes suggestions that sound great, but on my own, there is nothing in my brain that makes sense. I know where they are supposed to lead upon their completion but the details of that journey evade me!!!!!! I've even been given sheets of examples but they don't fit my experiences. I don't relate to them. Not being able to fill out these sheets make me so upset that I want to run away. My insides are in turmoil and not being able to "get it" makes me feel like an utter failure. I am so anxious that I am going to grab the pooch, throw him into the car and take a drive somewhere. I'm not sure how much longer I can do this. I want to burn the homework and walk off into oblivion...with my pup. There are no words to describe the depth of frustration right now~ ugh!

 

[Justmehere]

Perhaps you can try troubleshooting the questions here?

What’s one question that has you stuck?

 

[Enaila]

@Still Standing Just write...don't stress over the worksheets. As long as you are using some way to convey your thoughts and feelings, like journal writing, you will eventually get to the point where the worksheets may help. Worksheets don't work for everyone. My T would give me lots of suggestions, but ultimately, it was up to me to figure out what would work. I didn't like the overly controlling structure of a worksheet and a free write type of coping strategy worked much better. Talk to your T and let your T know the worksheets are causing extreme anxiety and frustration.....my T would just tell me maybe I wasn't quite ready for whatever the worksheet was expecting and she would then propose a different approach. There is hope. Don't give up!

 

[scout86]

What kind of homework? (I'm remarkably good at not doing homework. :))

I am going to be committed over these homework sheets

My T says that's a lot harder to do (commit someone) than you'd think, BTW. (We talked about it. LOL)

 

[Still Standing]

There is no way to explain them but here is the link that shows the worksheet. It looks easy enough, but columns D through E throw me into a complete shut down! ( https://cpt.musc.edu/resource_info/challenging_beliefs.pdf ) I will be back later. I need to calm my self down. I think I am done with these things! Sorry for the tantrum. These things drive me crazy! Perhaps this is one of those time when a long drive and a bag of potato chips are warranted!!! ~groan~ ...later...

 

[Justmehere]

Ah, ok. I’ve done these before. It can be a challenge the first few times. Good to take a break and ground.

When you are ready, if you want... what’s the automatic thought you are working with? Maybe we can help break it down a little more.

 

[UnicornSightings]

Lol. Just stop then. It’s your therapy, you don’t HAVE to do the damn worksheets. I had the same frustration over a recommended workbook. HATED the thing because of perfectionism (makes everything super harder than it is for anyone else) so I just said no. Not gonna do it. And it was fine. I didn’t have to. Workbooks are not my jam. They don’t have to be yours, either.

 

[Enaila]

I found that particular worksheet overwhelming when I was given it by my T. I didn't like so many questions. My T just smiled and gave me a page which looked different, addressed the same type of questions without all the columns and print, and worked much better for me. I now am really quite good at rephrasing a statement. I'll see if I can manage to find the original assignment. Talk to your T about an alternative format for the same skills T is trying to teach you.

 

[Freida]

Yea...bout those. My T tried them..they didn't work. Simple as that. It's just a tool to help you understand what you are thinking. If they don't work for you tell your t so he can try another type of tool

 

[Still Standing]

Hi all, Thank you for being so sweet in your replies. I was able to run out to the dog park, in the nippy cold, and let the pup run around with other like-minded k-9s, which helped to calm me a little. Then reluctantly I agreed to go to lunch with hubby and another couple, though I was still reeling inside. During the course of the lunch, it was mentioned that tomorrow is Presidents' Day. With that, the light bulb went on! My T had arranged to take the day off!!! No therapy Monday!!!!! This means that I have a few more days to try to get the worksheet done. The panic was instantly gone! Hopefully, I will be able to focus on the assignment, and not shut down. Justmehere, I wish you were able to sit with me and help me work through these sheets. Sadly, I don't know anyone other than the Therapist, who can help me with these, in person. But, it meant a lot to me that you, Anaila, and others were so quick to offer help. If I were able to explain my disconnect with the questions, it would be easier to have assistance, but I mostly stare at the columns and am so overwhelmed, I don't know how to put words to my thoughts, if that makes sense. If I can work up the courage to ask the doc about using another approach to this CBT section, I will do it. It is upsetting to feel like I have failed at this, because I know that I am smart but this homework makes me look otherwise. It all makes me feel like I am in high school again, where a large portion of final abuse happened. Have to stop. The old head is spinning again. This PTSD stuff is for the birds!!!!! Thanks for listening. I know this will be resolved, eventually. One has to have hope for better things to come. BTW, it is snowing out!!! LOVE the snow!