...I hope.
Found a psychologist in my area who not only "knows" about C-PTSD but has worked with sufferers. The second "specialist" had not heard of C-PTSD, so I decided to nix that one. There are other names out there (I have about four) but they are therapists as opposed to psychologists. For some reason, I think I would prefer the latter. I've had my share of "listeners," who do little more than hand you a tissue when you break down.
So.... I need to make my first appointment. I need to make a plan. I need to reduce alcohol intake. I need to make this a priority.
My avoidance is becoming so bad that I refused to turn my cell phone on all day (still haven't). Text messages are a major trigger. I will go hours without reading one, afraid it is from my ex-husband and will be painful. The stalker no longer knows my number, but he would often text me dozens of times a day. One day, when he was very angry, he sent 96 text messages, threatening me, being crazy. He though I was having sex with my brother, who was in town, and was going a little crazier than the average nuts.
I feel good when I accomplish something. I think it is because my doing work was about the only think semi-acknowledged as a child. I am going to FORCE myself to work ONE HOUR on cleaning out a mess tonight. No less but I can quit after the hour, only if I want. I find it helps to set limits.... otherwise I am overwhelmed.
I am beginning to feel safe here. The shock is starting to wear off. I feel I can talk here and be safe. Thanks, Anthony.
Found a psychologist in my area who not only "knows" about C-PTSD but has worked with sufferers. The second "specialist" had not heard of C-PTSD, so I decided to nix that one. There are other names out there (I have about four) but they are therapists as opposed to psychologists. For some reason, I think I would prefer the latter. I've had my share of "listeners," who do little more than hand you a tissue when you break down.
So.... I need to make my first appointment. I need to make a plan. I need to reduce alcohol intake. I need to make this a priority.
My avoidance is becoming so bad that I refused to turn my cell phone on all day (still haven't). Text messages are a major trigger. I will go hours without reading one, afraid it is from my ex-husband and will be painful. The stalker no longer knows my number, but he would often text me dozens of times a day. One day, when he was very angry, he sent 96 text messages, threatening me, being crazy. He though I was having sex with my brother, who was in town, and was going a little crazier than the average nuts.
I feel good when I accomplish something. I think it is because my doing work was about the only think semi-acknowledged as a child. I am going to FORCE myself to work ONE HOUR on cleaning out a mess tonight. No less but I can quit after the hour, only if I want. I find it helps to set limits.... otherwise I am overwhelmed.
I am beginning to feel safe here. The shock is starting to wear off. I feel I can talk here and be safe. Thanks, Anthony.
