Accessibility: Limitations, & How To Help

[Lionheart]

I often need to take a step back and figure out what is going on, in terms of how the past is influencing me in the present time. So, I have found it beneficial to let others know that I work on a 'delay-system', in which it may take me a little time to respond, act, etc. (This takes the pressure off and I can relax and think about what it is I want to say or do).

I am not very good at communicating verbally or following verbal directions, so I need to have the written word. I am also sensitive to loud noise, so it helps if folks keep their voices in check.

I have anxiety in crowds of people, so I have found that limiting my exposure to large groups whenever possible is a real help.

I am still a bit defensive, so I need others to respect my boundaries.....(example: no touching me without permission).

I don't seem to keep track of time very well and directions tend to throw me for a loop so, that I might want to invest in one of those GPS deals. lol

I think the one thing that truly limits me the most is my own negative thinking...

* I use hypervigilence and a journal to keep track of my thoughts. I also use something called a Challenging Beliefs Worksheet which was part of an intensive therapy program for males sexually abused as children....it helps me to define my cognitive distortions and to de-catastrophize.

 

[maddog]

Hmmm, this is interesting. I'd be keen to learn a little more about this "challenging beliefs" worksheet. Cognitive distortions and catastrophisation are two enormous tripwires for me too, struggle with these very badly.

Quite honestly, my own negative thinking and self denegration are probably my greatest challenge as well. I'm not sure how I feel about this personally, but T says so addamently, and sometimes I think I trust his judgment more than my own. He refers to this as my "tendency to jump on myself from a great height", which, for some bizarre reason, I find to be a somewhat amusing way of thinking about it.

Maddog

 

[BloomInWinter]

It is only in the past two months that I've begun being able to 'find words' verbally again.

My mind deosn't freeze up most of the time now, just when my general triggering all day is getting to be too much.

I also cannot seem to get certain basic grammar rules down, no matter how hard I try. It's so frustrating!

I have made a conscious effort to cull my posts to three sentence paragraphs in my writing, or less.

I went through web accessibilty training. It was eye-opening.

Watching the experience those with assistive devices go through just to access content is tragic. Our sites at work kept locking up the machines of the very people we were trying to help!

Now that my writing is more succinct, it has been very beneficial in my overall communication style. Like wider toilets, stroller-friendly curb cutouts, and automatic doors, the web accessibility guidelines I've been actively trying to adhere to have given me far more blessings than the effort I've put into them.

I can express myself now in 'twitter-speak', which is handy for appearing calm and in control. This now works even while my legs are shaking from anxiety. Being able to respond with a short, to-the-point statement is much less taxing on my brain.

 

[freakofnurture]

I have a really hard time reading posts that are really, really long.

Me too. Not always, but often, and then I feel kind of left out. That's why I append a short summary of the main points when one of my thread starting posts grows too long. I keep thinking I read it in the rules but I'm not sure. I also don't know if anyone but myself finds this helpful.

My biggest problem in everyday life off the web is that I am unable to form a thought when music or a tv is on or when somebody else is talking at the same time. I can't ignore those sounds, and when it's really bad, even the moving pictures of the tv block my thinking completely.

My hearing in general is a bit wonky. I've always had tinnitus in both ears (sounds like soft rainfall), and sometimes I just don't understand what people are saying. I hear sounds but I can't identify the single words. (EDIT: Oh, also, I always hear voices/music in the sound of the washing machine and similar monotonous sound scapes.)

My sight is fuzzy also. It's as if the static of a tv on an unused channel were lying over everything. At night I am practically blind, parallel lines confuse me greatly because all straight lines seem to wiggle, and things like overland cables look interrupted to me. When I'm tired even the lines of letters move. It feels kind of oppressing when all lines and surfaces are in constant flickering motion.

I can't do numbers. I don't get them. Well, I do 'get' what a number is, but it's too much for me to do things with them. Once I tried to make a substraction, but the bigger number was written below the smaller number; couldn't do it. I wasn't able to mentally switch those numbers.

Then there's various fears that transform every real life social interaction into a creepy, dangerous, potentially lethal situation with anti personnel mines hidden everywhere. Sometimes I feel like, at any moment, everyone around me could turn into a flesh eating zombie like moster.

 

[Lionheart]

Hmmm, this is interesting. I'd be keen to learn a little more about this "challenging beliefs" worksheet.

Years ago, I was involved in an intensive 17-week cognitive processing therapy through the U.of K. Department for Traumatic Stress Research and part of this work is to halt disruptive thinking patterns /neg thoughts that are believed to cause us to engage in self-defeating behaviors.

To do this, I use the Challenging Beliefs Worksheet, The Challenging Questions Sheet, and a list of 7 Disruptive Thinking Patterns. (I was also given some helpful hints for using the CBW's).

The worksheet is divided into 6 parts; The Situation, The Automatic Thought, Challenging Your Automatic Thought, Disruptive Thinking Patterns, Alternative Thoughts, and Decatastrophizing.

I don't know if it's cool to post all of the info here, but if not, I may be able to find a way to upload the CBW's etc. and send it privately if you are interested.

 

[votedmostcheerful]

Bloominwinter You posted:

That sense of being terminally defectively different isn't going away soon, I suspect.​

​

But I am actively working on not judging myself harshly for being different, not having skills, etc.​

​

Hoping someday I can just 'be me with me wherever I take me...and that is enough for me' instead of feeling like the invasive species of noxious weed in the botanical garden waited to be ripped out by the roots and thrown in the trash heap....again.​

I had been struggling for so long with my T. She wanted me to accept my wounds inflicted upon me as part of me. I could not accept that I would have to suffer repeatedly (with triggers etc.) after I had already suffered my predators inflicted wound in the first place? HA!! I wanted that wound out, wanted to go back to my pristine self before the abuse, I wanted to find my defect and fix it. After reading your post (especially the 2nd line), something clicked for me. I realized I had been looking for an exit out of the pain. After your post, I realized their is no escape....The wound is integrated into our being and must be managed. I grieved this for about 2 days and then the clouds parted. I have been at peace ever since (until my next trigger, of course) but even then, I will know that it is just my wound talking and sometimes I will tell it to be quiet. You profoundly impacted my life ....I feel HAPPY!!!!!! Imagine. Thank you

P.S. Sorry to post here but I can't remember how to start a conversation. :oops:

 

[goingonhope]

When my anxiety becomes very high, all communication is lost. When I've tried to talk to friends in that state, I'm just verbalising the disjointed fragments of experiences all over the place.

I recognise when I'm in that state now, and I don't speak. But in the past, its left me open to a great deal of misunderstanding, as friends have tried to put my words together to make a logical picture.

What would have helped more, is if they had recognised I was in a state of confusion and panic, and helped ground me, without trying to take in what I was talking about.

I relate with and understand this so well Meadowsweet. And, I like the way you've commented here on what would've helped more. This is my conclusion as well. When another is being supportive and they understand how helpful this really is and then chooses to go with it, it does significantly alter and enhance outcomes.

I only wish that I was more regularly able to not speak as you do when in such a state. I am improving, but I have a long way to go, since I can only point out and ask that family consider this option and try and understand.

I'm daily taught that I have absolutely no control over people, in fact it is in this area of managing my anxiety, without being allowed to verbalize any of it, that I sometimes fail.

 

[Meadowsweet]

I only wish that I was more regularly able to not speak as you do when in such a state. I am improving, but I have a long way to go, since I can only point out and ask that family consider this option and try and understand.

I'm daily taught that I have absolutely no control over people, in fact it is in this area of managing my anxiety, without being allowed to verbalize any of it, that I sometimes fail.

Honestly, I don't have anyone to talk to when I'm in that state now. But I think if there is someone who understands and can deal with it, I think that it is a way of saying help. I still hurt that the 3 people I tried to ask for support weren't there when I needed someone.

I don't think you're wrong for trying to talk. And I'd like to think that if I'd have been able to say, if I seem distressed, ignore what I'm saying and just bring me down and stay with me until normality returns, that they would have been more sympathetic.

 

[simplekindofgirl]

Text changes. There is something about the pattern in standard fonts that help me to continue to focus, while changes in text fonts and colors through me off. I usually can not focus well enough to understand what I am reading under those circumstances.

 

[Sterre]

I have a lot of trouble with spelling. In my native language (Dutch) I write pretty well, but in English...pfftttt.
Sometimes I feel insecure about it, because it must be a sight for sore eyes to read some of my posts.

The trouble is that most spelling correctors only correct certain words and then it messes with the grammar even more.
If you feel the need to correct me, just feel free to do so. I can learn a lot from it.

I to have trouble with long posts, although they are mostly very interessting, I feel exhausted after reading them.

 

[Sterre]

... because it must be a sight for sore eyes to read some of my posts.

:O_o:
Here I go again, I believe this is just the opposite saying of what I ment to say! :p

 

[Deleted member 1860]

ITA w/OP. Perhaps this is why I only read her original post and reply, skipping the others!

I skip MANY posts and replies that are wordy. Heck, even IRL wordy, verbose people annoy me.

I *do* like the concept of "twitter speak" (although I abhor the concept of twitter :-/)

Straight to the point! (Yes, I like it that way, lol)