Childhood Advice About Possible Granddaughter's Abuse?

[WildMermaid]

@Vulnerasti Cor welcome to the group first off. Your granddaughter is blessed to have you watching over her. If on a gut level you feel that something is "off" with er, then there is a reason for that. We pick up on subtle cues and mannerisms. Proceed into realm of sharing your fears with caution in regards to your daughter as she could decide to punish you by ripping the child away from your life. My own mother had been sexually abused as a child and still managed to miss it when it happened to me. If your daughter was also abused she may have some serious blinders up. Your granddaughter's safety and well being are I'm sure your highest priorities and as several people said at this point trust is something she needs right now. Does she act oddly around P.? Can she stay with you for awhile?

 

[Neverthesame]

First off, I want to state a few things very clearly.
- I am reading what you are saying, carefully and I am taking you seriously.
- I am not a doctor, nurse, psychiatrist or psychologist.
- I was an EMT. But that was a long time ago. Even if I still were. I would not give my professional opinion over an Internet forum, as that would be irresponsible, negligent possibly even illegal.
- I do not come from an abusive home. (Something I have become even more thankful for since joining this community)
- The reason I wanted to give you my input on this, as before. Not being from a background of abuse. This topic does not have the same emotional impact on me, that it does you. As you had stated in your original post. That you were having difficulty trying to separate your concerns, from your own experiences.

Once again, I am reading what you said very carefully, and I am taking you seriously.

My opinion on the first incident you mentioned has not changed.

The second incident is still not leading me to believe that sexual abuse is the cause. While extreme fear is a possible sign of abuse. It is not conclusive. Going by what you have written, I am more inclined to believe that she is being tormented by her brother.

 

[Vulnerasti Cor]

Sorry it's once again taken me so long to respond and thanks for your responses. I've now spoken with three professionals, who all advise me to take these incidents seriously. It occurs to me that you don't know me, how much I already do question myself (even when I shouldn't), and as the therapists say, trust my own instincts/perceptions (which I've been told repeatedly are excellent). I feel like I've wasted your time a bit but it's still been helpful to me, and thanks.

The bottom line I guess is remembering that kids aren't small adults, think, feel and express differently than we do? And I'm the one who saw her extremely unusual fear and anxiety, to a level I'd never seen in a child before. I'll have to do the adult thing and take responsibility, even though it's not pleasant. But again, thanks.

 

[Vulnerasti Cor]

Forgot to mention also: the most common age at which children are sexually abused is FOUR (sick, I know), which my granddaughter was.

 

[WildMermaid]

@Vulnerasti Cor I was 5 when the worst things happened, so I do understand. Yes, you see her and would be the one to know if something was "off". I'm glad she has you to look out for her well being.

 

[Neverthesame]

As I said in my last post. I am listening, and taking you seriously. I also know you were there, I was not.

You clearly feel very strongly that your granddaughter is being mistreated. The only thing I can really say now is that I am glad she has someone who is there, that is listening to her and wants to protect her.

I really hope you are wrong. But I absolutely agree, that you should do whatever you need to, to ensure her safety. Better safe than sorry. No child deserves to be abused.