Hi All,
All in all our relationship is pretty stable. Partner has Diagnosed PTSD, currently prescribed Anti-depressants but itsnt taking them and fell off the wagon with his T, hasn't had a session in about 2 months.
Things for the past few months have been superb. Getting on like a house on fire. He has been in good form.
Came this week, which I feel I must be doing something wrong. Il try to condence this but it's hard to get the whole picture.
So basically we both work opposite shift patterns. We we tend to pass likes ships in the night, I always try to make an effort to do things together and enjoy what little time we share. I am active, I like to get out and see and do things. Where My partner would much rather chill in front of his PlayStation playing games. This is when compromise comes in. I don't feel I'm Overly pushy about it and I'm certainly not the type of girl who wants to go flashy places or do expensive things. That's not me. In fact usually we get his kid and go do something fun :) I'm good with that!
Anyway this week, 3 of the days my Vet just wakened .. got ready and left the house early. Went out. Didn't mention where. He hunts. I sent him a text when I got up to see if he was out for the day or he wanted to do something. I noticed his equipment gone, assumed he went out with the boys. 8am ... midnight comes. Still not home. I tried to call before I went to bed as I heard nothing all day and was really beginning to worry. I knew I wouldn't sleep worrying, he's out with hunting dogs, some of his friends use firearms. You can imagine my concerns..
So he arrived home maybe 45 mins later. I said "what happened I was really worried", he explained I left my phone in the car, and what took him so long. So after I said I had imagined a million scenarios, I wish he had of let me know he was at least ok!
Fast forward to another two days of this. Out all day. One day he was due in work and just didn't bother going in on time. Unbeknown to me, He text his boss saying he would start 2 hours late.
Still nothing to me.
So the following day. I thought to myself. That is just downright disrespectful to me, he had the capability to inform his boss and totally disregarded me, knowing I had this very conversation at the beginning of the week!
So i let it go until lunchtime the following day.
He had a bit of a dodgy tummy so perhaps it Wasn't the time to mention it.
But foolishly I wanted to clear the air. I said look I know you said U left the phone in the car and I'm not debating where you where or anything but I was concerned, you were due into work etc I was again worried with the nature of the hobby etc. You could have let me know when you text mark (the boss)
That you were planning to be late.
Now perhaps I am being too clingy, but I honestly just felt worried. usually he would send little updates, pictures of the game they had got etc. Now things have changed with him Am I supposed to switch off my feelings and assume he'll just turn up when he does?
aNYWAY.. me bringing it up was like lighting a fuse. He blew. Why are u putting so much pressure on me. I come in and you ask me how I got on. What I got today. Who was there. (To me I was just making chit chat. But obviously it's now a problem)
i may be in the wrong to have expected him to let me know, be he usually would have. Perhaps he's just having a hard time and he wanted to get away from everything and me putting pressure on him has made it worse. Any ideas where I go from here. I haven't seen him since. As he worked last night and I left this morning. We slept in the same bed. But haven't spoken. I was going to send him a little unrelated text today just to break the ice. but feel like I'm totally overthinking it now? And don't want to text if he's under pressure either??? My problem is In our house I am the one who does everything to try to relieve pressures. I support 80% of the house finically as he works just a few hours nightshift.
Sometimes I feel under pressure and taken for granted But never get to say it out loud!!
All in all our relationship is pretty stable. Partner has Diagnosed PTSD, currently prescribed Anti-depressants but itsnt taking them and fell off the wagon with his T, hasn't had a session in about 2 months.
Things for the past few months have been superb. Getting on like a house on fire. He has been in good form.
Came this week, which I feel I must be doing something wrong. Il try to condence this but it's hard to get the whole picture.
So basically we both work opposite shift patterns. We we tend to pass likes ships in the night, I always try to make an effort to do things together and enjoy what little time we share. I am active, I like to get out and see and do things. Where My partner would much rather chill in front of his PlayStation playing games. This is when compromise comes in. I don't feel I'm Overly pushy about it and I'm certainly not the type of girl who wants to go flashy places or do expensive things. That's not me. In fact usually we get his kid and go do something fun :) I'm good with that!
Anyway this week, 3 of the days my Vet just wakened .. got ready and left the house early. Went out. Didn't mention where. He hunts. I sent him a text when I got up to see if he was out for the day or he wanted to do something. I noticed his equipment gone, assumed he went out with the boys. 8am ... midnight comes. Still not home. I tried to call before I went to bed as I heard nothing all day and was really beginning to worry. I knew I wouldn't sleep worrying, he's out with hunting dogs, some of his friends use firearms. You can imagine my concerns..
So he arrived home maybe 45 mins later. I said "what happened I was really worried", he explained I left my phone in the car, and what took him so long. So after I said I had imagined a million scenarios, I wish he had of let me know he was at least ok!
Fast forward to another two days of this. Out all day. One day he was due in work and just didn't bother going in on time. Unbeknown to me, He text his boss saying he would start 2 hours late.
Still nothing to me.
So the following day. I thought to myself. That is just downright disrespectful to me, he had the capability to inform his boss and totally disregarded me, knowing I had this very conversation at the beginning of the week!
So i let it go until lunchtime the following day.
He had a bit of a dodgy tummy so perhaps it Wasn't the time to mention it.
But foolishly I wanted to clear the air. I said look I know you said U left the phone in the car and I'm not debating where you where or anything but I was concerned, you were due into work etc I was again worried with the nature of the hobby etc. You could have let me know when you text mark (the boss)
That you were planning to be late.
Now perhaps I am being too clingy, but I honestly just felt worried. usually he would send little updates, pictures of the game they had got etc. Now things have changed with him Am I supposed to switch off my feelings and assume he'll just turn up when he does?
aNYWAY.. me bringing it up was like lighting a fuse. He blew. Why are u putting so much pressure on me. I come in and you ask me how I got on. What I got today. Who was there. (To me I was just making chit chat. But obviously it's now a problem)
i may be in the wrong to have expected him to let me know, be he usually would have. Perhaps he's just having a hard time and he wanted to get away from everything and me putting pressure on him has made it worse. Any ideas where I go from here. I haven't seen him since. As he worked last night and I left this morning. We slept in the same bed. But haven't spoken. I was going to send him a little unrelated text today just to break the ice. but feel like I'm totally overthinking it now? And don't want to text if he's under pressure either??? My problem is In our house I am the one who does everything to try to relieve pressures. I support 80% of the house finically as he works just a few hours nightshift.
Sometimes I feel under pressure and taken for granted But never get to say it out loud!!
