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After A Panic Attack

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I'm so so sorry Angel, I really felt the hurt and fear and frustration in your post, and I know that the guilt isn't just about the specific incident, or any specific incident, but about the whole freking crapload of it all, time after time, when it feels as though it will never end.

You know, I think sometimes it's ok to just say life's unfair, and you don't deserve this, and it hurts, and it's ok to be angry and upset. People say you shouldn't dwell on such defeating statements, but I've always found they have their place, because they're all true, and it's ok to just... break for a while.

Is that man of yours there to give you a hug? To tell you he loves you? To tell you tomorrow's another day and today will be gone soon?

Honestly, all the practical strategies in the world sometimes just don't touch that pain. Only the simple human compassion of someone who cares about you can do that, so make sure you help yourself to it, and then go back for another helping, ok?

Maddog
 
I'm so so sorry Angel, I really felt the hurt and fear and frustration in your post, and I know that the guilt isn't just about the specific incident, or any specific incident, but about the whole freking crapload of it all, time after time, when it feels as though it will never end.

Thank you, Maddog. It's especially meaningful coming from you. I know you know whereof you speak.
 
Self forgiveness is huge. Hard to master, as I'm struggling with it myself!

I believe that one day, all the things you say you can't do, you will be able to do, as long as you continue on your healing path. I amaze myself sometimes at the skills I've gained (but of course, I'm miles away from where I want to be!).

My dream is to live on a tropical island a la Swiss Family Robinson style. Awesome tree house and all... If I become a billionaire I'm gonna buy an island and do it. Lol.
 
Angel, I feel your frustration and shame. But I think you are brave and a hero for getting out there and trying.

When I was working and feeling panicky, I would go sit in my car for a few minutes and try to pull myself together and sometimes it took everything I had to go back in and finish my shift. Now I am at home and I usually lay down and listen to nature sounds. Don't beat yourself up. Sometimes we have bad days and sometimes we have good days. 1. Try positive self talk 2. Imagine a relaxing place and visualize your self there. 3. Take a quick walk to remove yourself from the situation for a few minutes. You can do this, you aren't alone. Give yourself a break, you are stronger than you think. I am so proud of you!
 
Ok, if we're going to get serious about the dream thing, this is what I really want.

I want a cabin in the mountains somewhere around Boone, NC. It should be way up on a hill that has a little stream. Fireplace. Porch. Enough property to cut wood on and have a nature walk around the edge I can jog (jogging in the mountains- that'll put you in shape).

We'll live there, Bear will tele-commute to work, and the only times we'll have to venture into civilization will be when we need supplies or when we WANT to.

With the advent of e-book technology and online ordering, hermitage can be pretty plush. :laugh:
 
The only thing I can do is crawling into my bed and try to sleep, sometimes with the help of a tranquilizer. Then, when I wake up, I feel better and the panic attack is like a bad dream that happened but that is gone now.

When I wake up, I have do eat and drink and then to make contact to someone or do something like going shopping groceries to come back to life.

Most of the time I write down what I felt, what was the trigger to talk about it with my psy next time.
 
*huggles*

The aftermath of panic sure is difficult to deal with :s

First, I ground self in reality - using techniques similar to monster :) Also make sure I have something to eat & drink - seems to make a difference. And then sleep and sleep.

xxx
 
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