Loads of support on here, Candicemp. I went through similar feelings after I left my ex. I managed to get him out of my life physically but the phone calls continued for quite a while until I threatened with a restraining order. The freedom was the scariest part at first. I had terrible nightmares when I did sleep, which was hardly ever, I had to check every lock on every window and door at least three times a day. I was afraid to walk from my house to my car on the street. I would leap out of my skin if the telephone rang, and I felt like a shell of a human. I was so exhausted on every level that I finally called someone.
I've been in therapy just over three years now, (my ptsd is complex, not just due to my bad relationship), and I feel like it was the best thing I've ever done for myself. I have a really good life these days. I still find there are moments when I have panic attacks because my hypervigilance hasn't kicked in, and I worry I've lost my edge, and I won't be safe. It's such a double edged sword. I've managed to do it relatively medication free and mainly through EMDR and CBT. A good therapist will respect your goals when it comes to meds, and they are out there.
I'm so glad you got out of a bad situation. Use any resources you can. You deserve them, and you deserve to feel okay with your life.
I've been in therapy just over three years now, (my ptsd is complex, not just due to my bad relationship), and I feel like it was the best thing I've ever done for myself. I have a really good life these days. I still find there are moments when I have panic attacks because my hypervigilance hasn't kicked in, and I worry I've lost my edge, and I won't be safe. It's such a double edged sword. I've managed to do it relatively medication free and mainly through EMDR and CBT. A good therapist will respect your goals when it comes to meds, and they are out there.
I'm so glad you got out of a bad situation. Use any resources you can. You deserve them, and you deserve to feel okay with your life.
