All in same boat, squeeze in everybody

[Uvir]

I know we discuss our stories on individual threads but I just wanted to collectively acknowledge all supporters past/present.

I have been coming here for about a year, sharing, learning and getting support. But I am sad as it appears that a lot of people (including myself) all started out positive and ready for the rollercoaster, but one by one have all met the same fate we feared.

So many special bonds and lost relationships derailed (in part or fully)by PTSD and some utterly destroyed. People eventually disappear from the forums (which I understand) and so does their experience and support.

Will any of us make it? Is anyone still hopeful?

 

[Fanemi]

Sure. Some of us have been with our partners for years. It's a rollercoaster, but it can work.

 

[Oze]

@Sweetpea76's mindset/relationship gives me hope!

 

[Panikek]

I decided to stay on, even though my marriage with my sufferer is over, mainly so I can try to guide other people, if it's possible. :D

And, well, my marriage may be over, but my relationship isn't (he obviously still wants me in his life because he talks to me every day), so I still need the support too. Walk away for my own sanity? Wha? :rolleyes:

Me, personally? I'll make it. Our relationship has changed, and will never be the same. One of us at some point will probably decide enough is enough and cut ties entirely. But I'll still be here, hoping my experiences can help others.

 

[Itilov]

I guess I still have hope. I can deal with the behaviour mostly. Its his mindset that I find most difficult. That he is annoyed by everything I am, do or say. That makes me feel like crap. He says he loves me, but half the time it does not feel that way.

 

[Ago]

He says he loves me, but half the time it does not feel that way.

Saying the "right" things but no feeling behind the words? Oh, do I ever know what that feels like. Hard to explain to someone unless they have experienced it for themselves.

 

[Ubem]

Saying the "right" things but no feeling behind the words? Oh, do I ever know what that feels like. Hard to explain to som...

I worry most about how convinced he is of his own version of reality. A reality where he is never to blame. Everything he does is in his mind a justified reaction to others wrongdoings. I don't know if that will ever get easier.

 

[Fara]

I worry most about how convinced he is of his own version of reality. A reality where he is never to blame.

I think this is probably the thing that keeps me remembering we just can't be together, unless he starts to acknowledge the role PTSD plays in his (and our) life. His reality is that triggers are others' fault, and if he's being triggered, it's because the situation is as dangerous as the initial trauma.

He won't accept that it's his illness telling him lies. I know I shouldn't take it personally, but being told I'm as much of an abuser as his parents...it still hurts.