Almost a Year Unemployed

whiteraven

MyPTSD Pro
Have you thought about any side business you can do, anything that will now or eventually bring a little extra to you?
Oh yeah. I've been doing some proofreading and editing the last 6 months, but not enough to make a living. I also do energy work with animals. One of my biggest issues is that I have trouble marketing myself. I have one website and one almost done, but it feels hopeless sometimes because I just can't put myself out there.

I also create lists (and lists and lists), and I do get stuff done, but it's generally nothing to do with work.
 

TruthSeeker

MyPTSD Pro
So...this was day 3 of work, and it didn't go very well. I mean, from my perspective. I suspect that I'm a great employee from their perspective - I am on time, and I follow all directions. I know, not much to live up to. But seriously, the people on this project ask the same thing over and over again and I can tell the supervisor is getting very annoyed.

But...we are doing trial tests on the stuff we are going to be scoring eventually, and I didn't do great on them. Or at least one of them. The supervisor said - ahead of time - that nearly everyone does poorly on the first tests. They don't count for anything; they are more so we can learn what kinds of responses are expected.

Still, I was so upset when I did lousy on the last one. I should do well. Not doing well means I'm a bad person. I known it doesn't make sense, but the feeling is very strong. And now, so much anxiety about returning.
Making mistakes means you are human.....not bad.
 

whiteraven

MyPTSD Pro
Making mistakes means you are human.....not bad.
Thanks. Yes...I know. I am just incredibly hard on myself (and always have been). I see the mistakes as failure on my part, as being stupid or incapable of doing anything right.

The job has improved a little; I'm still in the learning stages - so they say - and am strong in the dependable, tech, and enthusiastic ways. Thing is, though, this job ends in May, and even though I've been looking for better-paying, more regular work, I just am not finding anything I think I can do. That's not me being hard on myself this time; that's taking into consideration all that I've discovered over the last year that I can't manage and my lack of enough skills to do what jobs are asking. I'm not lazy; I am, though, not able to do a lot of things without a lot of emotional distress. And the last couple of jobs I've had have clearly been damaging to me on a long-term basis.

Don't know what I'm going to do when this job is finished.
 

TruthSeeker

MyPTSD Pro
Thanks. Yes...I know. I am just incredibly hard on myself (and always have been). I see the mistakes as failure on my part, as being stupid or incapable of doing anything right.

The job has improved a little; I'm still in the learning stages - so they say - and am strong in the dependable, tech, and enthusiastic ways. Thing is, though, this job ends in May, and even though I've been looking for better-paying, more regular work, I just am not finding anything I think I can do. That's not me being hard on myself this time; that's taking into consideration all that I've discovered over the last year that I can't manage and my lack of enough skills to do what jobs are asking. I'm not lazy; I am, though, not able to do a lot of things without a lot of emotional distress. And the last couple of jobs I've had have clearly been damaging to me on a long-term basis.

Don't know what I'm going to do when this job is finished.
You will do what everyone does to eat....keep a roof over your head, sock away what little you can, if any, and prepare for another job change. Sounds like your determination can be a huge asset. There are many jobs for "virtual assistants" who work at home and do online work for others. They are hourly, and don't have medical benefits like a salaried job, and It does take learning the programs, but that you can do on your own. If you are techie and artsy, some people make digital stickers or sell their clipart in online educational stores. Other people make educational products and sell. There are people who manage Pinterest accounts for others for the purpose of marketing......how'd you like to get paid to post on Pinterest and other places like Facebook? Dependability is HUGE! You have some real sound job skills, and it sounds like you are willing to learn new things.....so don't sell yourself short......you'll find something that fits....good luck with it all.
 
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