Almost Done

[desiderata310]

It sounds silly to say that I'm am verging on having a panic attack about this but I am!

I just got off Skype with my advisor. My thesis is practically done. I have a couple of notes to clean up, the acknowledgments, abstract, introduction, and conclusion to write and I will send it off for final review by the head of the review committee next week.

HO LY COW!

Almost done with grad school. The fact that I've been able to write ANYTHING coherent over the last 7 months is amazing. Thank you to you guys here for helping me make it through this far.

 

[marylouise]

@desiderata310, I didn't know you were in grad school! That's great news - congrats!

You know, I think we trauma survivors sometimes confuse good arousal with the bad kind. Are you really experiencing a panic attack? Or, rather a surge of accomplishment, maybe mixed with a little hestiation about the next stage?

 

[desiderata310]

@marylouise I have been done with the course work for a while and actually put the paper on the back burner for about a year. I have been working in earnest on it since last fall. If it had not been for the PTSD I would have been done about a year ago:wacky:. I know the PTSD pretty much wrecked my ability to concentrate so all my work has been done in fits and bursts of 5-12 hours at a shot for the last 7 months: if the brain was willing, everything else stopped and I worked on the paper.

I know that I was suddenly hyperventilating and kind of freaked out at all of this... so I called it a panic attack. The next stage is easy in a way. Writing those small segments will be a breeze. With the repeated review from my adviser I should be ready for the review committee but.. yeah.. it does freak me out a bit. As far as what it does to my life? Nothing really changes except I really have to start paying back my student loan:rolleyes:

 

[risingsun]

Congratulations Desiderata310!
I'm in graduate school and it is so hard to do with PTSD. I am currently working on my final writeup as well. I have two more chapters to go. I cannot wait until I am at the point you are at. Good for you!

Nothing really changes

No. I think everything changes and for the better. Not only has your knowledge expanded, but now you are receiving a passport to many new and great opportunities! And you did it while working through PTSD. That's determination and hard work for sure. It is wonderful! I am so happy for you! Warmest, Rising

 

[desiderata310]

@risingsun
WOW! I am excited for you! Grad school without PTSD is challenging.

I actually went through a period last year where I had decided to give up. I thought that the degree wasn't worth it (of course that was during a serious depression episode and bout of SI at the time, too)

Keep plugging away! We will toast each other's hooding when we finish.

 

[KwanYingirl]

@desiderata310 and @risingsun I am so proud for both of you. I graduated with a 4.0 GPA for my BS but can't get the courage to get my masters. I'm 59 now and I'll never work long enough to pay it back. Even with PTSD writing papers and doing research gave me such a vacation from my symptoms. Congrats to both of you!!

 

[RussH]

Congratulations! Proud of you.

 

[passerine]

It's been a while since your original post, but I just wanted to say congratulations on finishing up a graduate degree -- no easy feat, especially with PTSD! Your post gave me some hope as I move into my third year of graduate school and attempt to begin research for a thesis. I am feeling incredibly overwhelmed and questioning my ability to complete the program given my current mental health status, but here is proof that we can accomplish great things even in the face of adversity. Thanks for sharing your accomplishment, @desiderata310!

 

[desiderata310]

@passerine Thank you.
I am still shocked that I am done and my thesis was accepted. I have already done my exit interview.
I know you can do this. Just keep moving forward!