Alright We Need More Jokes

[Ned]

I would be happy with Seven of Nine in '45 battledress. In fact........
NURSE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[Jimmy1]

A tough looking group of bikers were out riding when they saw a woman about to jump off a bridge,........ so they stopped and parked their Harleys.​

Their leader, a big burly man, gets off his bike and says, "What are you doing?" ​

"I'm going to commit suicide," she says. ​

While he didn't want to appear insensitive, he didn't want to miss an opportunity either, so he asked her... "Well, before you jump, why don't you give me a kiss?"

So she does...

And it was a long, deep, lingering, spine-tingling kiss.

After she's finished, the biker leader says, "Wow! That was the best kiss I've ever had! That's a real talent you are wasting. You could be famous. Why in the world would you want to commit suicide?"

"My parents don't like me dressing up like a girl........".

The authorities think she may have been pushed ???​

 

[Jimmy1]

Pig Hunting The Australian Way. Pity we could not get him to bring it back.

 

[reddevil1111]

Jimmy, if you hadnt pushed your pig off the bridge, you wouldnt be watching the old beast carry her off. I am just saying....
Maybe there was more to your kiss? lol

 

[Jimmy1]

lmao. Damn, you got me.

 

[Need an Oasis]

Angle is the German humour starting to get to you?

German humor? What's that?!?!

 

[Zipperhead]

German humour, you know, like

"What unit was the most effective at defending Paris?,,,,,,,,,,, The German Army!"

 

[marc and honey]

 

[Jimmy1]

 

[Sludge]

A Pennsylvania State Trooper pulls over a sports car for speeding. As he opens up his ticket book, the female driver says with a smile, "So I guess you are gonna sell me a ticket to the Policeman's Ball, eh Trooper?"

Without missing a beat, he replies, "No ma'am. Pennsylvania State Police don't have Balls."
Once he realized what he had said, he got back in his car and left without further comment.

Needless to say, she got a laugh and no ticket...

 

[Sludge]

Ever wonder what the definition of "asshole" is?

 

[Sarg]

I hope that dude with the paper bag had a jet, all fueled up, engines running when he did that!

Sarg