Am I Being Rude?

[blackemerald1]

I did not tell you what you should do. I did not tell you to shout & scream.
I suggested, that moving out is going to do more harm than good.
I acknowledged the health of baby & you come first. That is why I am at a loss to read you would rather move yourself out? I did not tell you to call the Police, shout, scream. You have not mentioned dangerously high blood pressure issues before. A stomach ulcer is not healthy at any time, pregnant or not. Stress may cause stomach ulcers, so do other causes. I have not presumed to know your full medical history, but if the ulcers are so painful now that you collapse to the floor in such pain, perhaps you might need to get this looked at before baby begins to come?
It's your home. It is not at all easy for me to sit here & read that you are in distress, unwell.. perhaps extremely unwell and so unwell you are not able to deal with unacceptable behavior by others in your own home. I am sorry if you think it is easy for me, but it isn't. If I was there today, I would send you to the Dr in a cab, to get some medical treatment & a health check and whilst you were out I'd throw these parasites and their precious attitudes out.. along with their possessions & take the keys off them. Then I would start cleaning up & finding potential roommate with some respect & sense of responsibility.
But, don't think I ever sit here & find it easy...

 

[Knak]

@blackemerald1 I thought I explained it clearly above -- any time I start to fuss ov...

I am amazed and proud at the difference in how you were able to react sticking up for yourself and so sorry about your health.

I understand you are in a difficult situation and I also wondered if the police would do anything to help. At least try it.

I also wondered about telling your landlord. Maybe he'd get involved in a positive way, but you thought you might get in trouble.

I thought of suggesting you leave for the time being as a last resort, but it seemed like a long time and I'd be scared of damage or stealing. Also the time involved could exacerbate their strength over the situation.

We were advised by a lawyer friend not to let someone stay in my mom's house after she died because he said "possession is 9/10ths of the law". That sounded stupid but maybe true.

I really thought contacting a lawyer would be best but is expensive and maybe a waste of money.

Hearing your actions and your health problems and your willingness to consider leaving, maybe it is the best for you now.

If there is anybody who would speak strongly on your behalf to get them out it would be great because it is a long time and could create more damage. Even a big burly neighbor who loves to bully people.

If you feel safe leaving and it's not going to make you feel worse then maybe it's the best.

Try anything. These are other choices to consider and I encourage your action.

 

[Knak]

Might have to just go stay in a hotel myself.

I don't want to stress you and if that is best then do it.

 

[Casey_03]

@blackemerald1 Thanks. I've had the stomach ulcer checked out already and it won't affect the baby, it's just very debilitating. It's caused by stress and any time I start to get upset about something now it flares up. My point was that you implied I had not taken action when I in fact had, and it had no result, and the only next thing available to do would be to shout and scream - which would be counterproductive. @Knak I considered police but they would call the landlord, and then I would face more problems with him. Ultimately, police always defer to the landlord, there's not much they can do on their own. I tried diplomatic means and was genuinely thinking that would solve the problem -- if only getting the girl to stay the hell out of the way for the remainder of her time here. But people are jerks.

 

[blackemerald1]

No @Casey_03 I did not imply you had taken no action. I actually suggested that you keep things civil. (see my earlier response)
@Knack suggested the shouting & screaming...Police & muscle.
I suggested you put the responsibility with your roommate & start looking for a new one. (Earlier in thread)
All the other stuff you attribute to my last post here involved. It's not me. I guess the idea of saying to her (my baby & cat & a little bit of crazy goes a long way) Was a bit out there...
But, who knew this was going to grind on to the stage you feel compelled to leave your own home.
I probably have a soft spot for issues involving 'Single parents going it all alone'. From womb to the tomb really...
But, any way I shall disengage from this Thread.
Hope you go well with it all. I really do.

 

[Casey_03]

What is going on that you cannot or will not take action

--- That's pretty clearly saying I wasn't taking action. I realize now that you didn't mean to attack me, but it felt like an attack when I first read it and I was insulted that you seemed to think I had "no instincts for self-preservation" etc. But I realize now that I think you were just angry at the situation on my behalf, and not at me. It's just hard to guess the tone of comments on here sometimes. I do apologize if I was overly defensive.

 

[Powder]

I'm baffled. Is this a cultural difference thing?!

I would honestly have said "no" to the roommate, and for arranging a sublet without your permission I'd also tell him that he's in violation of his lease, and his stuff will be in a storage locker and billed to him when he returns.

 

[Casey_03]

@Muse I don't think it's a cultural thing. The roommate is actually Australian, and while the girl is Ukrainian, I've never known a Ukrainian to act this inconsiderately. I wasn't even asked if this was okay, I was just told she was coming after he'd already told her she could stay. If it had honestly been only two days as he'd originally said, I've have been fine with that. But no. And yes, you are right, the roommate needs to be dealt with for doing this. i guess I will have to kick him out early (he's leaving in a month anyway).

 

[Powder]

You might read your lease or just ask the landlord if they can evict her? It may be that she's not allowed to be there.

I know every lease I signed clearly stated that nobody over 21 could reside who is not on the lease for over a certain period.

 

[Casey_03]

Well, they could, but then I'd be in trouble for having her here in the first place, that's the problem (and my landlord is already looking for reasons to raise the rent). Supposedly she is due to leave this week, and i am really really hoping that sticks and she actually does. If not, I don't know what I'm going to do.

 

[Knak]

No @Casey_03 I did not imply you had taken no action. I actually suggested that...

please keep what I say out of your conversation with the poster, as I did for you, as it has nothing to do with your reaction.

I also explained why my message was in the particular context it was to avoid the assumption I was all for attacking, which you did not include, so the small clips you posted of what I said appear to be something they were not.

Besides that, the poster was the first to suggest police and I responded with my thoughts.

Nor did I mention using muscle, only suggested appearance as a possible way to throw fear into the perpetrator. I was thinking in terms of the poster finding a man who appears able to defend a helpless woman in distress who could not defend herself due to many reasons.

Why on earth are you trying to shift blame onto me using false information? Perhaps I should refer this to the monitors so they can properly evaluate the tone and meaning of what each of us is saying.