Sufferer Am I In The Right Place?

[NayaZ]

Hi - I just found you all from a google search.
I'm from the US, in my 30s and I have been looking for some forum or something where I fit in. I suffer from PTSD but I'm not a veteran, even though sometimes I relate most to people who have been in combat situations. To simplify a really complicated story, I guess you could say I was forced into a gang...and into doing gang-related things, but I didn't fight for my country and I don't quite relate to civilians who have survived sexual assault. I suffer from horrible night terrors, I can't even sleep until it's light out, I have a million "quirky" hangups, I haven't met any professionals who I can really talk to, and I'm not able to handle it alone anymore.

I used to just try and ignore that I had a diagnosis at all ... I guess I got very good at keeping things in, pushing things down...but now I'm not anymore. Recently, I started to trust a couple people who I thought were close to me and who acted very supportive at first, but it went really badly and I've been extremely depressed lately and unable to trust anyone. When I looked for a group to talk to, there only seem to exist two categories: sexual abuse victims and veterans. And worse, every hotline I tried to call when I was in crisis diverted me to a suicide or rape hotline, then put me on hold for up to 30 minutes. I'm shy enough to talk about my problems, so I ended up just hanging up.

I feel like I don't fit into the world at all, and I'm really afraid to tell anyone left who is close to me that I even have a problem. My own family doesn't even know. I hope I fit in here...just another try, I guess!

 

[Friday]

Welcome NayaZ :)

We've got people with PTSD from all different kinds of Trauma, here, from all over the world. Single traumas and traumas spanning many years. Childhood, adolescent, adult. Natural disasters, kidnapping, torture, rape, assault, car accidents, domestic violence, fires, combat, civilians in war zones, medical, murder, suicide, animal attacks, first responders... just to name some (not all!).

Do check out these 2 threads, for sure. Wicked helpful. Again, welcome!

The Ptsd Cup Explanation

https://www.myptsd.com/threads/understanding-post-traumatic-stress-disorder-ptsd.86476/

 

[Fadeaway]

Welcome. We all have a variety of traumas, experiences and symptoms. Please do not judge whether you fit in here or not based on the type of trauma. Trauma is trauma, PTSD is PTSD. You have come to the right place,

 

[Anarchy]

Welcome NayaZ,

As the guys have already said, we get the same core symptoms whatever our trauma was.

There are some variations, Early childhood traumas produce some additional crap, but everyone will recognize what you are going through.

There are some good resources in the "vault" that are worth reading.

and into doing gang-related things, but I didn't fight for my country

What is a "country" if it is not the turf of a big, long established and very aggressive gang calling itself a government?

 

[Chava]

Hello @NayaZ ....as others have said, we suffer from all kinds of trauma. You might see a lot of sexual abuse or combat trauma because, unfortunately, that's a common cause of PTSD. But you will also see all kinds of trauma represented here. I have complex trauma that is hard to sort out (some sexual, but also physical abuse which isn't talked about much, and quite a load of very early medical trauma, also not super common).

In this forum, I find myself looking less for who can relate exactly to my story (very few members on any given day) but for others who can relate to my current struggles or symptoms (many), because there is quite a bit of overlap there. For example, my symptoms are primarily expressed somatically (pain, body memories, panic symptoms, self-injury, eating disorders) and several people on the forum struggle with this, even if the source of our trauma was not the same. You might struggle with other symptoms and day to day things that many other people here can relate to.

Hope it's useful to you...welcome.

 

[Deleted member 28740]

@NayaZ This is good and safe neighborhood to explore and make connections. Chava expressed it so clearly. Thanks Chava. I have made real friends here, friends I can talk to about what I could never reveal or express, at my own pace without fear. I can get deep into rooting around, then sometimes find something that I have to chew on, digest for a while and come back to. Adjunct to the therapy that I am just starting. It is so helpful to not feel utterly naive, or alone, or judged, or shunned on this journey of excavation and healing. Thanks to Anthony and all the members for being so open, caring, brave and smart and funny.

 

[intothelight]

Welcome to the forum! One of the greatest benefits I found by being on this forum was that I was among people who really understood the struggle. It was the sharing of ideas, experiences and support that I found a source encouragement to move forward. I hope you find this site beneficial to your own healing.

 

[Yugogypsy]

I've been diagnosed over a year ago and I never thought I quite fit in with Veterans PTSD (I've been sexually assaulted years ago but I fought back). I married a Vietnam vet which is how I got the PTSD diagnosed. You see, I'm Deaf and fluent in ASL with good written English skills. I've been a foot soldier in combating various issues with Deaf, communication and language related issues (we know all kinds of horrors caused against the Deaf) until I had a really bad traumatic experience with the authorities over five years ago. They didn't believe that I'm Deaf (as if there's a specific "deaf look" in deformity) and I ended up in jail because they thought it was illegal for the Deaf to drive (Hello!! Use your eyes on the road! Duh moments from the cops which turned worse that night).. Worse, a bad lawyer... And worser, a bad prosecutor... and worsest, a bad judge... I have never encountered a group of hearing men who so ignorant and so lazy to own up to their own mistakes.. Four lawyers later...We sued them and won a settlement... Any soldiers (gangs, teachers and veterans) get them. I just have those PTSD anxiety related issues when it comes to people, communication and language differences amongst the ignorants... I haven't been on this forum for a long while.