@richter scale: thanks for your answer but you are WRONG!! // So please keep your comments to yourself. // And thank you so much for taking your 5-10 mins for reading and throwing your random view at me. Good day.
Meant kindly, here, J... It's a legitimate question. It may well be wrong, but that doesn't make it an attack on you.
Until you answered I didn't know if it was something you'd say
- "Nope! I know it can be an issue, issue, especially coming out of an advanced degree program where you have to fight to work with the best minds available, but it's not even something I struggle with. I have friends across the spectrum. LOL Some of my friends are total rocks, love them dearly for their spirit, vivacity, kind hearts, etc. Intelligence is something I value in myself, but don't prioritize that way with other people. Far more to people than how smart either of us are."
Or
- "Maybe. It's something I've struggled with in the past. Either people thinking that, when it's not what's meant, or (eep!) Me doing just that when I don't intend to! It's something I'm trying to learn to recognize when I do it, or when someone else is mistaken. Good looking out. I'll need to really take a look and see if this is what's going on."
Or
- "Intelligence is something I place a very high value on. I've worked very hard for many years to learn from the best minds available, continue to try and improve my own self on a daily basis, and prefer to associate with people who do the same. While it can come off as intimidating to some, with like minds, great things can be accomplished. Especially coming from my background of constantly being belittled, it's very important to me to associate with people who are not only intelligent themselves, but who recognize my own intelligence and are not intimidated by it, but thrive and are equally excited and share those values with me. Who strive for individual excellence on their own merits, not by putting others down to make themselves look good."
Or something somewhere in between no, maybe, yes. ;)
I chose 3 positions on that scale... And all 3 are "good", respectable, laudable. There are dozens of other ways to phrase things / feel about those 3 positions that are all "good". That come from a place of respecting yourself & others. Not a single one of the of positions you could take snobby or demeaning or cruel by its nature. (Although, ditto, all positions can also come from an unhealthy or abusive POV. It depends on the person themselves, their motivations. Not the yes/no/maybe.). You have a good heart, I think anywhere you fell on that scale would be from a place of good intent.
If you look at what
@richter scale says, not coming from a place of attack, but from a neutral (or even positive!) position... Do you see how that might change the dynamics? <grin> It's okay to value intelligence. You may or may not, but simply valuing something doesn't make it wrong. You don't have to be a snob to value intelligence, or shallow to value beauty, or a bully to value strength, etc.