Am I overreacting about someone calling me nuts and crazy?

[IamFree]

I would be curious to know if anyone has reached a place in there recovery were someone saying this does not bother them..and can even have a sense of humour about it.. I wonder if this would be a more desirable place to be rather than getting all triggered regardless of the intention.

 

[LuckiLee]

It doesn't sound like the person was being playful about it. And yelling things outside your home is definitely out of line. IMHO.

 

[blackemerald1]

nyone has reached a place in there recovery were someone saying this does not bother them..

No, and I don't think being sufficiently 'recovered' will ever stop me being bothered by abusive language either.

if this would be a more desirable place to be rather than getting all triggered

The problem is that it's not a choice when triggered.

When someone comes to your home, emails you, calls you and abuses you about something personal and private - it's on them. Not on the person that is on the receiving end.

 

[shimmerz]

reached a place in there recovery were someone saying this does not bother them

This is actually my pathology. I was trained not to respond to such things. Blow it off.

That is dangerous.

So whatever you mean by 'bother', I am going to say that there is a reason we need to confront people. To let them know to STFU or things are going to start getting real for them.

I have no idea how to do this and therefore, things 'don't bother me'. Literally.

Just need to take a look at my life to see that there needs to be a good solid self protection mechanism in place so people who are prone to f*cking around just because they can realize that you are going to be more bother than you are worth if they engage.

 

[Freida]

Get. Out.

“personal attacks are sometimes ok, I mean sometimes they are feedback, everyone is allowed to give feedback and sometimes that will mean personal attacks and name calling.” She then went on about how she's not even sure it happened. WHAT. THE. Ok. Look. Name caller actually admits it to everyone in writing and you tell me you don't think it happened and you are calling me at 11pm at night to tell me this? What the heck?

This is why I don't go to church. They will only see what they want to see - what makes them comfortable, what makes them feel better. And in this case its blaming the victim. And that is WRONG. If they will blame you for something like this imagine how they would treat someone who was a victim of a bigger situation. This is not a healthy place - period.

I can’t help but kinda think God might have been thinking, “jmh, fine, you won’t stop talking to them? Here’s an old woman with dementia who is going to throw your phone into the street....get it now?”

You beat me to this! I mean -- really...what are the chances you literally got smacked upside the head while talking about it? yea -- we call that a God Smack. Not even a hidden message. It was a great big direct can't argue with one message. :hug:

 

[Neverthesame]

I can handle someone I know calling me crazy, when I know it's said in jest or at least in light hearted exasperation. I mean, it's not like I don't have odd behaviours, that's just the facts of it.
I can also dish it out in equal measure. In the same jovial manner.

What JMH experienced though?
Nope. I don't think I'd handle having someone trying to throw that at me to put me down with even a modicum of civility.
My literal first thought would be, "You want crazy you damn dingbat, I'll show you crazy...."

 

[Justmehere]

I’m crazy like a fox....

Lol.

But seriously, the times I can turn this stuff into a lighthearted joke are the best. I couldn’t do it with this person. I walked with her through some tough stuff in her life that I can’t share with the others because it would be breaking confidences, and they think I’m throwing in the towel over someone in pain making one inartful comment.

That being said, these folks are not reflective of all Christians and etc. just like how a someone that goes to a mosque or someone who is atheist for that matter, who is also being stupid about mental health, wouldn’t be reflective of all people of that same worldview. Same applies here.

These folks are also not generally crap people. For the many years that I have known them, they have been very kind to me and haven’t ever handled things so poorly as they are right now. That’s a big part of why I’ve tried so hard.

As I stated at the start,

Many faith communities need to do so much better on these issues too. I don’t want feedback on how stupid Christians can be... yep, I get it. Deeply.

Please avoid turning this thread into being why Christians/the church are stupid/terrible/etc.

 

[Fancy Dancy]

Someone's crazy here and it's not you...

1. If she's representative of this community, LEAVE.

2. If she's not, and the community will not stand up for you against an abuser, LEAVE.

 

[blackemerald1]

No.. I'd suggest JMH - don't leave yet.

Why should you? This may all yet settle down, I hope and if it doesn't return to some semblance of normality then you can change gears and look elsewhere.

I'm sure JMH you could find another group to meet with and would probably be welcomed. But this is just one person in the group. The other members of the group do not sympathise with this woman or even agree with her. They may not be terrific with handling her particular problem but they don't agree with what she is doing.

You have set your boundaries and it is now well understood by the majority who know you JMH that the ONE person who needs to self-regulate, is having a difficult time doing so. But given some more time and some 'help' from others in the group she may discontinue the behaviour and stop being a pain in the butt.

I think the elderly lady hitting you was really very unfortunate but I don't think it was a message from God. I think you thought it up all by yourself but the timing was so perfect you attribute it to a Holy intervention. lol But if you want to think God likes to smack people in the head and sets up elderly demented ladies to do it lol well go ahead. I'd rather think your common sense prevailed really.

 

[Freida]

lease avoid turning this thread into being why Christians/the church are stupid/terrible

OH Crap -- I'm so sorry....I think I was projecting. I have some wonderful christian friends who have been amazingly helpful on my journey. I just sometimes get triggered by stories of people treating others badly in church settings and blurted out my baggage in my response to your situation. Bad Freida!!!!!

My Apologies ?

 

[Kintsugi]

This is a crazy long thread (hah), so I wasn’t able to read it all. But am I crazy, or do you have just the worst luck with faith organizations? Yikes.

I hope this is approaching a resolution for you. I couldn’t imagine facing this situation myself. It’s certainly up there with Worst Case Scenario for me re: unwanted disclosure of my Dx.

I had a coworker who also has PTSD. She used to delight in intentionally startling me, knowing my hypervigilance would make me disproportionately react. THAT seems less stressful and cruel than being berated for being “nuts.”

I agree with whoever said she might have her own issues, deep in denial, and she is projecting. Or it’s possible she has issues that cause her to gravitate towards anyone she sees as a vulnerable person. I see that a lot working in my field with vulnerable adults. It’s a weird sort of predation that’s hard to quite put your finger on sometimes.