Analogy: My Ptsd Feels Like...

[Tinyflame]

Like having the flu: how you feel, fear of exposing others, others feelings about you.

 

[Gloria]

I wake up from the nightmare every single morning and I feel like I'm shaking but I'm not. It feels like death - like total horror. Then I remember what other people describe in this thread and I say to myself "It's not happening now." This thread has helped me more than anything else. Other people may have had the same trauma but knowing that other's actually know what I go through helps me feel like I'm not alone. I'm crying. I am so serious. Up until I started writing the thread, I never heard other people describe it.

 

[Tinyflame]

I know exactly what you mean about the physical feeling of shaking but you're not, too.
((((((((Gloria)))))))

 

[Kris1984]

I will never be able to stand living in my own mind.

 

[maddog]

Wow, I've only looked at this thread for the first time just now, and have only skimmed through a handful of posts from each page, but can honestly say that at different times I can probably relate to all. It changes, sometimes a thousand times a day...

Right now, my PTSD feels like I have been taken back in time 25 years, and my 5yo self has been deposited on a strange planet full of aliens and left there to fend for herself. Nobody there knows her, and most can't even see that she exists. Oddly, she doesn't want to go home to earth though, because even at age 5, she knows it's not safe or ok there either.

Maddog

 

[Gloria]

I will never be able to stand living in my own mind.

PLEASE BELEIVE. Never say never. I've been tackling this many years but I haven't given up hope that symptoms may not disappear but they can become livable. I've seen it happen - not in a week or a month but persistance pays off. Please don't give up. I know it's easy for me to say but if you give up, then there is no chance of "living in your own mind". I mean no disrespect just want to encourage you.
Hugs,
Gloria

 

[Sazza]

Like a losing battle that you are never going to win.

 

[Anna]

like a hot kettle boiling over.

 

[Srain]

..like I live in some many places at one time that are constantly changing..it's hard to explain and when I begin it changes to a different era...sometimes it slows down and I can breathe, I can see, I can level myself to what is happening NOW, just don't ask me to explain too much at once...

 

[forrest]

like being paralized

 

[Gloria]

like being paralized

I'm paralized every morning until I can open my eyes and tell myself I'm safe. Totally paralized.

 

[Queen Boudica]

Like my brain operates in one mode and I work on another.

If someone is talking to me, often I hear the information but my brain does not process it till later. Or my brain acknowledges it, but puts it on hold till later. Yet I can still respond to the talking but on automatic, not in the moment.

But, if I am talking, I just cannot access what is in my brain fast enough. I know the information is in my brain. I know I get it in my brain, but I cannot get that information from my brain to my mouth without losing the meaning, missing bits, or it coming out wrong. My brain and thoughts are too big for my mouth to handle.