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Analogy: My Ptsd Feels Like...

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My PTSD feels like emptying a dirty pond with a sieve. The water's too murky to see the bottom, and no matter what you try, without the right equipment it's impossible.
 
My PTSD feels like I'm playing The Price is Right, and everyone is yelling at me what they want me to choose while I stand frozen unable to think. Hurry up, the time is ticking!
 
My PTSD feels like I have been floating on a raft in the middle of the ocean days after a shipwreck. While waiting to be rescued some days the waves are calm and other days the waves are so harsh that it makes me wonder if it's worth holding onto the raft anymore.
 
Mine feels like pain from no where and everywhere. Being watched constantly. Phantoms hiding around the corner waiting for me to make that one mistake giving them an opportunity to pounce. I have to be alert and protect myself from them. If I don't they will make the pain worse.
 
Today, I feel like I am being tested by some unseen unknown entity that wants to see what it takes to make me lose it and start sobbing or throwing up or just plain shutting down and finding somewhere to hide from everything. The whole test is spinning out of control, I don't know what to react to, I can't even focus on wich lousy thing or trigger I am thinking about, it's becoming a composite of all of it spinning in my head where my mind used to be.
 
If I may interject....

I read this post to try, (yes try) to understand my SO better. I often feel lost, and this is a huge help and gives me some much needed perspective, and better understanding.

I want to say Thank you, to all of you, for being honest, and open, with yourselves and others.

I can understand the difficulty in getting through life in general, but to have have to do it with PTSD........ well, all I can say is........

I appreciate, and am so very proud of you all.
 
my PTSD , today, feels like a hot poker stinking right through my gut...I cannot eat, or do anything productive. Today my PTSD has me stuck and I think it is because I went to the VA today for a routine appointment and I got triggered by something...maybe it iwas a smell or a sound. I do not really know or care. I just know that it feels like a hot poker, or a really long needle, that is sticking right through the very center of my being.
 
Today it feels like the happy side of me is in an intense boxing match with my PTSD and we are both growing tired every passing round/hour but I feel I am doing better than the PTSD is
 
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