• We are a multilingual website again. Read the notice about this.
  • Understand AI use at MyPTSD: all AI use is explained in our AI help page. AI use is by choice here. It exists if you want it, but does nothing unless you choose to use it.

Analogy: My Ptsd Feels Like...

Status
Not open for further replies.
Like a great storm that comes over me. Bolts of lightning hitting me in the chest bringing pain and fear and sadness. Huge black clouds that cover all the light and torrential rain and hail so I can't see where I am going I am desperatly running trying to find shelter or I am frozen at that spot trying to roll into a ball to protect myself.

But then the lightning and rain stop, the clouds slowly dissipate and a ray of light appears and maybe even the sun comes out and the birds begin to sing. And for a little while there is peace.

But I never know when the next storm is going to appear.
 
Lately, like I can't trust anyone. I am at the mercy of people I cannot trust, I am forced to base my decisions on the mutterings of people I cannot trust, I am constantly backtracking and repairing and starting over because of the actions of people I do not trust.
I want to trust somebody, but doing so over and over and hoping for different results is not only a sign of insanity, it is a pretty good source for it also. I wish I wasn't wired to seek a bond with other humans, I wish I could go it alone without the fear of being an outcast and the horrible realization that I am.
 
Today it feels like I'm in the wrong reality - There's 'me' and 'everyone else'. Like things around me are happening completely independantly of me. Every decision I make, every action and reaction is meaningless.
 
Feels like breathing stale, bad smelling hot air, with no way to open a window or anything to breathe clean cold air again. Like being in a desert. I grew up (and still live in) a VERY rainy city. No rain means my soul is parched, and I'm longing for something to cleanse me that just isn't there.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.

Donation drives

2026 Donation Goal

Goal
$1,800.00
Earned
$910.00
This donation drive ends in
0 hours, 0 minutes, 0 seconds
  50.6%

Trending content

Featured content

Back
Top Bottom