Anxiety? I Don't Think So. This Is How I Always Am!

[anthony]

I don't think anxiety means the same thing for you and I. I imagine that you have a very “text book” definition and my anxiety is not like that. I live off adrenaline and it has allowed some great things to happen in my life. It's pushed me to be my best, it's forced me out of my comfort zone, to take risks, to make me listen more carefully to my 6th sense, it's allowed me to have experiences that I never would have went after otherwise. I've discovered that fight or flight has been more my friend than enemy.

That is not anxiety, that is risk taking behaviour. Vastly different actions, along with their respective definitions.

Anxiety is the fear to not do something. Risk taking is when adrenaline is present and you take excessive risks to feel good.

Maybe you simply need to get a new therapist!

In one sense, the 5 minute warning prior to end the session isn't a great thing when compared to you needing smaller things to feel safe, however; people are human and time can certainly escape a therapist in therapy. It is not beneficial for you if the therapist is concentrated on a clock to provide a 5 minute warning. Maybe a simple thing is to set an alarm clock on your phone prior to entering, so it vibrates 5 minutes prior allowing you to also monitor the session time.

An alarm for a therapist, again... not a beneficial aspect to introduce to therapy as it breaks the continuity of the discussion, which could be important.

At the end of the day you have to look at it from a different view, being, is the therapist right for you or not? If the answer is yes, then work out solutions. If no, then stop trying to change the therapeutic relationship / therapist themselves, and simply find someone who you feel more comfortable with that can help you.

 

[Taven Carlsen]

It is not beneficial for you if the therapist is concentrated on a clock to provide a 5 minute warning. Maybe a simple thing is to set an alarm clock on your phone prior to entering, so it vibrates 5 minutes prior allowing you to also monitor the session time.

An alarm for a therapist, again... not a beneficial aspect to introduce to therapy as it breaks the continuity of the discussion, which could be important.

Good points.

 

[tphillips117]

I disagree! This is MY therapy and it has to work for me! I'm trying to
do everything I can to make it work for both of us. How is a 5 minute warning an over the top request? So what if he watches the clock. It's what I asked for! I need that time so that I don't feel like im being kicked out. I offered to be the one to keep track an he said he'd take care of it. What's wrong with that???

 

[Chosen]

Very well-written letter! Hope the response is good...or that you find a therapist who works well with you.

 

[tphillips117]

I broke up with him over the phone and have an appt with another therapist on Wed. Something that is supposed to be this good for me, shouldn't feel this bad!

 

[Chosen]

oh gosh, did he call you or did you call him?

 

[tphillips117]

I called him. I left a message. I told him to expect the letter in a couple of days and that I wouldn't be returning. I thanked him for the time he spent with me thus far and invited him to call me back to discuss it if he chose to. I'm not sure he will. I'm sad about it, but a break up is never fun.

 

[Chosen]

I'm pretty certain he will call you back...it's part of the ethics...have to try to make contact with client to discuss it.

 

[Bubba]

I'm going to consider my options carefully between now and then. I might totally stop therapy, switch therapists or continue with the one I have if we can get this back on track.

I was going to suggest maybe switching therapists. Having someone you trust and connect with is so important. From what he was saying to you - it doesn't sound like he is the right one - especially if you are sitting there thinking that what he is saying is just lame. It's hard switching therapists - but then again, why waste your time and money if it isn't helping.

I wish you luck on this journey! It is definitely a tough one - no doubt. We all understand what you are going thru. We've been there and are there ourselves. Hang in there!!!! ((((((HUGS)))))

 

[tphillips117]

Thanks Bubba! Everything will work out. This is my first time in therapy and I sure learned a lot! So I look at this like a learning experience and not a personal failure.

 

[piratelady]

Based on your previous posts, I do believe that a new therapist is in your best interests. One piece of advice I do want to offer:

My old therapist never gave me a warning or anything, but as we got towards the end of the session, he would start to direct the conversation towards lighter topics, more positive things, etc. Perhaps this is a compromise, or something to look for in a new potential therapist?

 

[tphillips117]

I only asked for a 5 minute warning because he practically kicked me out after I totally spaced out--which scared me. I was trying to prevent that from happening again. Again, this is MY therapy, if he wanted to do something other than a 5 minute warning, than he should have said so. But instead he said "no problem, I'll take care of it" and then the very next week, didn't follow through. When you don't trust to begin with, little things like that matter to someone like me!