Anxiety over visiting inlaws every sunday

[BeTheLight]

I want to her others experiences when it comes to inlaws.
I feel it really brings out my stress and anxiety every sunday before i go to dinner with my partner.
I am hypersensitive to many things and i take a few years to analyze what triggers me. Now that for the last 4 years i have the same 2 issues that give me anxiety.
#1 a brother in law who hates his brother (my partner) literally never speaks to me. The word is he freezes me out. He also stonewalls me.
He acts as if im not there.
Example. Italian family. Everyone kisses everyone hello and goodbye.
He kisses everyone but my partner and myself hello and goodbye. At christmas i made sure to prove to my partner that he doesnt say goodbye to me.
I made sure to be near the stairwell where he has to exit .. Conveniently just once this time i loitered around waiting for a goodbye non chalantly.
He walked right past.
No kiss bye. No bye.
I said to my partner see.
My partner said to his brother. "Have you said bye to everyone?" the brothers response,"Yes."
Ouch.
But he says oh bye (My name) thanks for everything.
I have a few triggers here.
#1 the family allows the disrespect.
#2 i feel shamed pubilcly
So. The dinner i went to last i didnt kiss him or his wife hello or goodbye since they both never do to us either.
Maybe this happened because years back he asked me for my phone number for sex obviously. Now hes married and doesnt talk to me at all.
Funny because when i see him in public without his wife or family he SMILES waves and is like heyy!

#2 issue. My sister in law.. This mans wife.
I always feel and see her lookins me SLOWLY up and down. With no comment. No compliment.
Like a zombie or exhausted mom just looking me up and down. The once over look. The body scan. Whatever you call it.
My mind boggles itslef. Its every time i see her !!!
I dont second guess myself on how i carey myself my choice of words etc nothing bevause i was raised respectful.
We never hang out aside from family gatherings.
Obviously after 4 years she has no interest in my partner and i who are aunt and uncle to her and her husbands child .
We arent buddies or close sisters in law.
Why is she always looking me up and down. I want to laugh but also want to kind of snap which i never would.
Jesus save me lol. The stress my hands are soaked writing this !

 

[Chris-duck]

Maybe this happened because years back he asked me for my phone number for sex obviously

It reads to me like this might be the issue. Him wanting sex with you at some point n his wife possibly knowing about this I'm not sure there's much you can do about it unfortunately. Just usual jealous stuff n regret. It might die down, might not. But it's not personal

 

[BeTheLight]

It reads to me like this might be the issue. Him wanting sex with you at some point n his wife possibly knowing about this I'm not sure there's much you can do about it unfortunately. Just usual jealous stuff n regret. It might die down, might not. But it's not personal

Thank you Chris!!! I really feeel you. I have a feeling your right. f*ck. I never even answered him back when he asked for my number because i was dating his brother!!
I have asked my partner and he said if his brother gets rejected he gets all f*cked up. Its been four years . i just want us to have a good time and move on. I appreciate your input. I just feel the burning eyes of his wife and honeslty last week im sitting on the couch and i knew as soon as i stood up his wife would stare at me. Problem is i needed to toot in private without the securityy around haha. So i had to come on here and ask for advice anonymously. Thanks. !!