General Any Of You Carers Have Your Own Emotional Issues?

[Angus McGee]

baby steps, right Bear?

:)

The relationship we will have on the other side of this will not be the same as it was before. I believe that it will have to be rebuilt on a different foundation. One not made of naive hopes and dreams of a couple of 20 something kids, but one with a much deeper understanding of each other, our wounds and (I'm hoping), how to build each other up instead of a what-can-I-get-out-of-this mentality.

For as hard as this time is, if it gets both of us to the place where we can love and trust each other even more than before, then it will be worth it.

Right now, I'm a football team pushing and fighting my way down the field to the end zone (reconciliation, rekindled relationship, etc.). However, there are some plays where I end up face up at the bottom of a dog pile with a big ol' defensive lineman on top of me. I just have to get up, get back into position, and run another play. Yesterday the enemy blitzed, and tacked the quarterback for a loss. Today is another day. Another set of plays. Let's get on with it!

Once the "game" is over, and others come to us in pain, and a mind full of questions and confusion, we can tell them of our story, and how we made it through.

That, in a nutshell, is my biggest hope through all of this. In her own way, my wife's too.

 

[valdoodle]

Hadn't heard from my partner for a day or so and (unlike normal break ups where you would let it go and be bitter about it) began to wonder if he was alright. A quick phone call made me glad I still care and through this forum and reading, I understand why. He had got his medication in a mess, had a terrible nightmare the night before and couldn''t remember anything. We,.together, sorted the day out.

I am glad I take this as 'not about me' and 'not just about love' it is about being there to help him live the best life he can with his rotton PTSD. He did not ask for it and will have it all his life I guess. I didn't cause it, I can't control it and I can't cure it but I can be a good friend. I think I need to read PTSD for Dummies cos it isn't straight forward at all.

Today I think I can manage a tired :)

 

[Angus McGee]

I'm learning there are things that can help PTSD, and make it much more managable. If you took a look on youtube and did a search for "This is EDMR", there's some good info on there, and some related videos that show the after effects of folks having gone through EDMR to help them. Truly amazing results. My wife starts hers in two weeks.

 

[BigBear]

baby steps, right Bear?

:)

In every new thing we start, it's either baby steps or a good chance of changing the shape of our noses!:)
I like Baby Steps.

Bear

 

[Angus McGee]

It's also a great analogy because our son has just started walking. Watching him carefully take those steps provides a great illustration into what will be involved in rebuilding our relationship.

It will take one tentative step at a time.

 

[OKRADLAK]

Sigh.......why does this have to be such a hard disorder?

I am a sufferer and I have indeed been horrific to certain carers, but ONLY when they hit me or tried to control it out of me. I have been punched and kicked and hurt by carers. But even then, when they were kind to me, I accepted their help.

If I were in hospital and a carer came to see me, I would love to be hugged and held. I would love it if a carer prayed with me who did not hit me.

.Most of the way I hurt them is that I cannot seem to keep it together. My house is a mess, I can't always be where I say I am going to be, can't be reliable, but I never did anything I could help. I fought and fought but ended up getting hit and cheated on because they could not take it.

I am afraid of carers now, though I really wish I had a kind one. But I do not think it's possible because of the hurt PTSD causes........

It baffles me that sufferers can be so caulloused to carers who actually care!!:eek:

 

[cynelena]

Birds of a feather Angus! I'm going through a lot of the back and forth of emotions myself these days with my Sufferer.

We've had many ups over the past 6 months, but are sliding back into the downward spiral that PTSD can be lately and I find myself having even more intense emotions about it then ever before. Maybe its because I saw such improvement...I became complacent...so did he. Now we're both feeling like we were ran over by a steamroller!

The one thing that has really helped me through these times is to come here to the forum. It reminds me that I am not as alone as I feel some days. I'm also in search of a therapist for me. Just me! I've put so much attention on my BF and his issues for so long, that I've neglected my own well being. I'm done with that pitty party though! I have 2 beautiful kids and 2 bonus kids (his) that need at least one of us to keep it together.

Take care of yourself and remember that you are absolutely not alone;)!

Cynthia

 

[ISupportHer]

and remember that you are absolutely not alone;)!

THAT's for sure! :)

ISH