Anyone Else Feel Like This?

[Mr. Smith]

Hey All,
This might be a strange question but for me I was just wondering if anyone else feels like this...
Sometimes I feel like Jason Bourne from the movie “The Bourne Identity”. I feel lost and confused going through this world not knowing who I am. I feel on edge and uneasy around people I don't know and sometimes people I do know including even family members. My mind can't shut off but I don't really want it too because it's who I am, I can think and reacted fast to situations. I have been called “heartless”, “cool blooded”, and others along those lines. I do not show my emotions or let them get in the way of my thinking even though I am really a loving caring guy that some see if they stay around to really get to know me or if I let them into my “world”. If I watch a movie I can relate almost to well with characters and feel their pain/emotions or even with the people in my life. I don't know, like Bourne, I too am trying to find out who I am and why I think the way I do, almost like him in cases, I can read most people like a book, always looking, always thinking.

Marie: Do you have ID?
Jason Bourne: Not really.
~ From “The Bourne Identity"

 

[ronin47]

Ah yes, I can relate to many of those components you described, mostly the searching for identity one. That was literally what I told my therapist at the beginning of this year, that I wanted to work on discovering my identity. Or more specifically, I wanted to work on discovering my identity as a healthy person. Sometimes, along the healing path, I found myself almost wanting to backtrack, gravitating back toward that damaged and traumatized persona that I had lived with for so long, because that was all I knew. I'm slowly learning though to reconcile how my past has shaped who I am with the more positive aspects of my personality and identity.

 

[Heather]

hmm maybe I should add this to my list as something to work on. Instead of just always talking about being a victim and identifying myself that way maybe it's time to work on discovering an identity that's seperate from that.

Sometimes, along the healing path, I found myself almost wanting to backtrack, gravitating back toward that damaged and traumatized persona that I had lived with for so long, because that was all I knew. I'm slowly learning though to reconcile how my past has shaped who I am with the more positive aspects of my personality and identity.

Thanks ronin. Now I can't wait t'il I see my therapist on Thursday. More good stuff to share with him. I like this thread.