Anyone Else Have Problem Finding Acceptable Therapist - Complex Ptsd

[Girlgirlgirl]

So, I have DDNOS and PTSD, which I guess creates attachment problems. I've seen multiple trauma therapists. I have a VERY hard time finding a therapist that I like. I think to some extent I am too sensitive but I am not able to do anything about it! I continue seeing this one therapist, but he really gets on my nerves still. The problem is, I really respond very negatively to many minor things the therapists say. Like, I know I'm overreacting, but I cannot stand the therapists! Another thing is, I don't feel like my beliefs are respected a lot of the time. Does anyone else have problems finding a therapist to work on traumatic material with? I finally settled for this one guy, but it's only because I've already gone through all of the trauma therapists on my insurance. (I could see an out of network provider and my insurance would pay for half of it, but honestly, that seems like too much work haha). This just makes me feel a little bit crazy, although I talked to one other person with a lot of trauma and she also said she had to find "the right therapist" & until then, not much was done. I don't know if this means I should just wait until I have different insurance to find a therapist, which will be a few years from now, but right now I'm just sucking it up and seeing this annoying one. Just wanted to know if anyone else had a similar problem "finding the right therapist" and what they did?

 

[BlueOrange]

It's hard.

As I became a more skilled patient, I became able to make use of less-perfect therapists. But the best therapist I ever found is still the one that I keep going back to. The most important test is this, I think: When you raise the topic of problems in the therapeutic relationship, do you feel that their response can lead to an improved relationship?

Always be improving your end of the relationship. Give them an honest chance. When problems occur (every relationship has problems), it should be an opportunity to develop skills for resolving problems in a relationship. If you've made an honest effort, and there is no sign of improvement, then you may need to move on. But try to stay. And think about those past therapists - is there one where you might get good results if you gave them more of a chance?

 

[Girlgirlgirl]

Thank-you very helpful! Yeah I do need to make more of an effort to communicate!

 

[digger]

I continue seeing this one therapist, but he really gets on my nerves still.

I really respond very negatively to many minor things the therapists say. Like, I know I'm overreacting, but I cannot stand the therapists!

I don't feel like my beliefs are respected a lot of the time.

I've already gone through all of the trauma therapists on my insurance.

right now I'm just sucking it up and seeing this annoying one.

The things that annoy you about the therapists that you've worked with - have you raised these points with them? If not, I'd suggest doing that first with the therapist you're currently working with before quitting. A good therapist will appreciate the opportunity to work on the therapeutic relationship with you. Sometimes it's just not a good fit, but if it's something that's repeating with every therapist, then I'd say it's more likely to be something that can be worked on.

 

[Ronin]

ust wanted to know if anyone else had a similar problem "finding the right therapist" and what they did?

I stopped looking, for a time. Not as in giving up: I was obviously carrying Issues around, past, ongoing issues, /and/ whichever attachments I formed to previous therapists & psych health professionals & others in the helping professions - along with a wide sum of issues with authority & needing a style of leadership they frankly weren't equipped to be giving - so I needed to sit aside, sort my priorities, sort my needs, and act only after then.

These days I'm having a clearer idea about my needs, both about the therapist, therapy style & settings, and the timeframe I can do therapy for even in times I can afford it - such as anything longer than a year feels trapping even with the best therapist & I run into a wall & then run off - but it took that time for myself to figure that much.

 

[Girlgirlgirl]

@Cashew: glad to know I'm not alone! makes me feel better!:) feel weird discussing it with my therapists too, since it seems so irrational. Thing is, I'll be starting a new career in a few years, so if none of these therapists respond to my concerns, I will have a bunch of new ones on my new insurance;D Lol. To some extent, I need to see that yeah, some of what I feel is irrational, but on the other hand, some of it has not been & I do need to find a decent therapist that can treat me with respect!!!

 

[Biz]

@Girlgirlgirl , I understand where you're coming from. Very minor things turn me off from therapists too. I interviewed 16 before I chose my previous therapist.

 

[Girlgirlgirl]

@Biz, cool! how did you interview them or what did you look for if you don't mind me asking?

 

[Biz]

@Girlgirlgirl , I used psychology today's therapist listings to find every female therapist who did EMDR, which incidentally is a great way to sort out those who work with trauma since EMDR is about processing trauma. I then went down the list. I didn't bother contacting anyone with less than 3 years experience because I had a previous negative experience with suicidal ideation and an inexperienced provider.

I emailed a few each day and scheduled them in to my week. If they asked doing a phone call instead, I explained that I get a better sense in person, and all but 1 agreed to do an abbreviated free session or an abbreviated pro-rated session in person. That 1 said it would be clear on the phone; in her case, it was (we seriously didn't connect). Sometimes they asked to speak to me before and we did that too.

I don't know if you're finding this, but the minor things that turned me off would often come up in the first 10 minutes if not the first 5. For me those are things like seeming fake, being over validating, saying something stupid, seeming confused, not asking good questions, telling me they didn't understand, or offering something unhelpful. I'd describe the #1 thing I wanted to work on and then ask if they thought they could help. I asked them how confident they were with dealing with my issues. Sometimes, I asked how comfortable they were with their clients having suicidal ideation (now it's VERY rare but at the time it was every couple of months). Sometimes, I let them lead the appt. and then ask these things at the end.

When I found my previous therapist, I knew the very first session I could work with her (she sometimes refers to herself as lucky #17). I went to one of the other 17 twice and second session I knew it wouldn't work. Up until I picked a therapist, I asked for the business card of each one I'd met with and at home I put them in to two stacks "no way in hell" and "maybe." In my second, more recent search I did the same thing with just somatic experiencing practitioners on psychology today. It was a much shorter list.

 

[Girlgirlgirl]

oooh do you have insurance that covers lots of therapists? mine only covers some>.<

 

[Biz]

No. Mine only covered some, but I was more determined that I wanted the right fit and my therapist helped me figure out how to bill her out of network.

 

[Girlgirlgirl]

Makes sense...