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Anyone else triggered to be in rooms without windows?

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Justmehere

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I just spent two long days in rooms without windows. I normally find this triggering. It probably was triggering. I made it through. (I won’t have to do anything like this again for a bit.)

So many bad things have happened in rooms without windows.

I tend to always sit facing towards the door or facing windows. Today? We were down a narrow hall, and no windows. I managed. Not sure how. (It is probably catching up to me now.)

The windows could have curtains over them entire time... somehow I’m ok with that. The windows can be small and at a distance and that’s good too. It’s different than being claustrophobic. I’m fine in tiny spaces. But this is such a big trigger for me, the few people in my life offline who know of a few triggers of mine would be really surprised I made it as long as I did without any windows around.

Anyone else feel this way?
 
Yep, me too. In my old job they restricted the office space and said they would give me an office to work from that had no windows - I complete lost my shit. It didn’t happen but the threat was enough. A setting I work in just now uses small meeting rooms with no windows and it’s very difficult for me. I too always sit where I can see the door and if I know I’m going to be working in windowless rooms I carry strongly flavoured sweets, scented hand cream, a fidget toy etc, basically a coping kit because I know I’m going to struggle. I also try to give myself an easier time of it at the end of the day to recover.
 
Yes, I do not handle rooms without windows. I worked in the an office building for a while where I had the 'corner' room. It was not safe...(interview rooms adjoined my office) so my exit via a door was blocked. After several major 'incidents' I left the building. It was too much. Nobody else understood until they had to work in the corner room. Knowing I have an exit strategy is really important to me and that includes how I get out. It's not always a practical strategy btw., and might involve smashing something.
 
It helps to know I’m not alone in this.

It has really has caught up with me today. I won’t have to deal with this again for a few months. Today. I can take my laptop and go work outside for all anyone cares... I scheduled one meeting in a room with a patio and giant windows. Giant.

My therapist’s office has a window... to a brick wall 8 ft away. Totally enough for me. There is a fire escape and all. And it’s an hour. Not two full days.

The last two days? Narrow hallways to a windowless room. It was a large-ish room, but that didn’t help too much.
 
I can take my laptop and go work outside for all anyone cares..
The is one of the hardest things about quitting smoking for me... losing the excuse to go outside, be outside, or simply work outside.

90% me-stuff, But a 10% other people are happy to have me take my smokes elsewhere (although it’s rare anywhere let’s you smoke inside, these days) // it gives them motivation to let me take random breaks. I come back just as HAPPY! :D AHHH! (Alright! Let’s bust some ass!) when I’m not smoking, just taking the stress management / move around/ clear my head time... but the cigarettes give them a reason for that to be the case. IE they’re more likely to allow/encourage/dismiss it. When I’m not smoking I have to be a lot more self assured (I need it, & you’ll like me better / we’ll get more done & have more fun) because they don’t have an easy answer in their heads already as to “why” I need it, or the effect they see before / after (you’re not nicc’ing why the f*ck are you so edgy and cranky??? And why are you so much more tolerable as a human being when you come back? :shifty: ) .

When I’m having a hard day? Not having to deal with 10% other peoples stuff? Priceless.

ETA... to be clear, I’m not suggesting you pick up a smoking habit before you have to go back to endless hallways and windowless rooms! But something else -that happens to be true- might be a good idea. Medical is usually better, and there are a metric shit ton of proactive healthcare excuses (ie it would be good for anyone everyone to do these things, but most people don’t unless there’s a crisis).
 
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