So I was looking over my previous post and was alarmed at what I wrote. Truth is I was feeling that way again very recently. And again I've gone through a bout of bad health. I'm starting to think that my physical health has a huge impact on my emotional/mental wellbeing - when I'm unhealthy things just get negative. Looking back, it has always been that way. Not really sure how to handle it because I know there will be future health issues. I need to learn to deal with myself.
I think I am going to call myself out on my shit right about now.
1. All or nothing - I do this a lot. "I am not healthy. Therefore I am not as good as everyone else." I need to understand that this is bullshit because others are supportive and people themselves have told me that they respect me and my strength.
2. Overgeneralisation - Every period of bad health is another defeat. Yeah it sucks, but I have learned so much about myself, the people around me, my abilities, emotions because of this. I might not be back to 100% perfect and the way I was before but I have picked myself up each time.
3. Mental filter - sometimes I can't see beyond my health issues. I am more than my problems!
4. Disqualifying - I throw off compliments, positive feedback, praise etc thinking I am unworthy. Maybe I am!
5. Jumping to conclusions - I automatically make assumptions about what others think of me. It is always a bad opinion and it is always linked to my bad health. I know from personal experience this isn't always true!
6. Magnification/minimisation - I magnify all the negative stuff "I can't do this I can't do that" and I minimise all the things I am doing well i.e career. People tell me the stuff I'm doing well all the time! For some reason I only focus on the bad stuff!
7. Emotional reasoning - "I feel like shit, therefore I must be". Everything ultimately hinges on this.
8. Shoulding - "I should be doing this/that because everyone else is" Why can't I respect my limits? Yes they suck but I need to respect myself ultimately.
9. Mislabelling - "I am unhealthy. This is a bad thing. I am less attractive. I am less competent. I am a lesser person. I am not as good as everybody else. I am a fraud" - This is ridiculous! None of this is true! If someone else thought this about themselves I would tell them they're wrong. But somehow when it comes to me, I feel this to be really true. I need to work on how I relate to myself.
10. Not really.
