Are You Involved With Your Community?

[Chava]

Is this a PTSD thing?

I don't know either. But I relate. I am outside of town a bit but really have a few neighbors. But I do NOTHING in my community. I travel to another community to work at a university. Where I live nobody even knows me. I feel like I should go to church. It's hard not knowing anyone, but I also will not go to the few community events by myself and just be there by myself. I'm introverted and I'm sure you are too. But I'm extremely avoidant. I also simply don't like typical community events or things like watching ball games together. I shouldn't be living in a small town.

The part about this escalating for you might be PTSD-ish for you. I've become more avoidant and withdrawn. Not sure if it's like this for you, but I don't quite have all the same roles I had before, so have lost some structure. I've burnt out and am not willing to play the game in many ways. If it isn't pretty meaningful, I don't bother...I'm in pain half the time and behind on all kinds of things. But also, through therapy I suppose, it feels like some layer has peeled off of me and I don't know how to face the world...it's like I'm less detached and living outside my body...and yet afraid of what that means. I don't know how to approach people from this place. I'm just f*cking scared and exhausted. So I've constructed a new form of bubble where I don't go out much and avoid eye contact or communication for the most part.

 

[Seasounds]

• I think isolating from the community is usually considered part of PTSD signs. That has been my story. groups/ community activities usually trigger me.
• And I think this 'standard of PTSD sign' does not take into account personality types. (In my country, where most people are extraverted.) I'm introverted, and the best of times, I prefer to be alone or with just one other person. It takes a lot of skills, confidence, and energy to be with other people.
• And I think isolating doesn't have to be a sign. Out of wisdom, many healthy people choose to stay to themselves.
• Since studies have associated mental health with being involved with community activities, and since I have no family, I have made an effort in the last year to join a well facilitated (the only reason it was worthwhile was that there was protection given to everyone ) community discussion group.
• Did it help? Yes. How? After making an effort to, and speaking my opinions during the bi-monthly meetings, after the meetings were completely over, I realized that I had internalized a sense of safety when being with people. I am 'one small step' of being more comfortable with people in a group/community.

 

[Seasounds]

• I think isolating is usually considered a symptom of PTSD. It has been my story.
• I don't think this 'PTSD standard' takes into account personality types. Most people in my country are extraverted. I'm introverted-refreshed by spending time alone.
• From readings of sages, many wise and healthy people spend time in isolation because they choose to not partipate in 'social pettiness'.
• Do I partipate in my community? Generally not.
• Due to information on mental health, that states being involved with community helps mental health (depends on the community if you ask me), I made a point to join a community discussion group, bimonthly. And I thought it might help my loneliness, and help me move towards making friends.
• Did it help? Yes, only because it was well facilitated-the leaders gave protection to everyone in the group. (Other group experiences were traumatizing since the facilitators were passive in the face of aggression.)
• The sign that it helped: I am noticeably more at ease in a group.
• I don't judge myself when I need to isolate, especially after being triggered. It is part of the healing process.

Good healing to all of us, whatever we choose to do!

 

[Changing4Best]

Yes, I participate in my community of about 2000 people. I live close to the main street, also close to shopping. Mostly I participate in my church's functions, sing in the choir and so on. I am involved with my immediate neighbors. I also go to the Senior Center most weekdays. I have many aquaintences and a few closer friends. My family lives far away, but I do keep in touch with them through social media, email and phone.

I like the town I live it, although my apartment has been broken into twice. That is the only downside that I can see.

What I get out of all this is a feeling of belonging, of being appreciated and wanted. I was rejected in my home town, called names and bullied as a child. I hated that town and the people who lived it for that reason. No one reached out to protect me or stop the bullying. No one seemed to care. Now folks do care. I feel somehow valuable, desirable and that I have a purpose. I don't feel lonely, like I used to elsewhere.

 

[jaccat]

I don't participate in my community, yet I am a well known face here- because of where I work, and where I live. This isn't a large town. It's kind of back to front- I'd like to be able to get involved in some events- volunteering for instance but I don't have time, yet I hate being recognised by people in the street when I just want to be left alone. How much of it is the PTSD and how much of it is personality I don't know. I suspect I am at least a little unsociable by nature, but at the same time am aware that an awful lot of it is down to symptoms. Plus the fact that a part of me hates this town because it's so wrapped up with my traumas.

 

[KwanYingirl]

Yes, for me it does come down to symptoms. I can't reveal what I consider to be personality defects from trauma. The bubble around me is quite thick. I keep a busy work schedule where I feel needed and appreciated, which leaves me, happily unavailable for civic duties. I've dabbled in church but never formed friendships there. I go to AA but have never formed a friendship with anyone. Just don't know how to do it.

 

[Deleted member 12723]

I agree with Cashew, I used to be extremely involved in my childrens schools etc and then I started therapy and was diagnosed. That was the end of my community involvement. i lived in a small town for twenty five years in a cabin in the mountains. The gosspers were toxic and rampant and many lies were being passed around me and I and my family became stigmatized so it would take a miracle to get me to be involved socially like that again. I am totally against it. I know I am handicapped but I do not trust community at all.

 

[illusionist]

Strangely I used to be heavily involved in the community and doing lots of voluntary work when my Ptsd was at its worst...I suppose I used it as a way of pushing myself..I couldn't do for myself but I could do for others.....it gave me a feeling of belonging and worthiness, as well as being or being seen as the nice girl who earned respect. Others gave to me, what I couldn't give to myself.

Now I am not involved in the community at all and social events I genuinely don't enjoy. I have questioned myself on this and realised that I have finally found the true me.. nature is where I am genuinely happy.