Ah yes, I know this feeling...! I'm about to start diving into some deeper work with my therapist in the next couple of weeks and I'm bracing myself, big time. I don't want to do it. But I know I need to.
Tips for hanging on...? I don't know that I have any! I think my strategy is going to be to try to remember that I want to feel better (and that means knowing there will probably be some times when I feel worse before I feel better) and to know how disappointed I'll feel with myself if I give up and don't see all this through. If I walk away...nothing will change...and I really don't want that...
I guess, as well, finding a way that means you can do the work in a way that is most manageable for you. That may be about the pace you and your therapist choose to work at, whether you need some sessions where you have a break from the really tough stuff, whether you need any additional support between session when the work (and impact on you) is particularly challenging...
Also, you mention quitting and then rolling up into a ball to feel safe... Is there anything that helps you feel safe (or at least safer) that you can bring in to this to support you? Maybe something that helps you to feel safer/more comforted etc in sessions themselves? This may sound silly, but I like to feel warm in sessions. I often have cold feet, so I've started taking really thick, cosy socks into sessions with me. So, I take my shoes off and just sit in my warm, comfy socks.
Of course, this doesn't stop a tough session from being tough! But sitting in my socks and feeling that my feet are toasty makes me feel more comfortable and a bit safer somehow. And I think feeling the floor under my feet (easier through socks than shoes) helps to keep me a bit more present/grounded as I tend to dissociate when things get more challenging, so an awareness of feeling my feet is helpful.
So could there be something like that? I know others take a blanket in to sessions to wrap around themselves. Or soft toys to hold/cuddle up with. I also stroke the cushions (they're furry - I find that comforting!)
Or is there something you can do to help yourself feel safe when you're back at home after a tough session? A soak is a warm bath? Wrapping yourself up in a snuggly blanket? Rolling up in a ball your favourite room? Spraying a certain smell that you find soothing?
I guess some of these are really self-soothing/grounding techniques. I just wonder - if you can find some ways to consciously create a sense of safety for yourself, that might help you to hang on in there with this difficult work?
