Ashamed And Embarrassed

[Snowflake]

Ashamed and embarrassed that I told my therapist some of my family incest secrets today -I had journaled them and today I read them. Ugh

 

[Ironlady]

Ashamed and embarrassed that I told my therapist some of my family incest secrets today -I had journa...

Your shame and embarrassment is their shame and embarrassment. You are courageous. You are brave. You just took a step into real healing. By speaking to your trauma you released part of the bond that trauma captures oneself. You took back your own power. Be proud of that lovely one. You did a beautiful thing.

 

[Sideways]

One of the great things about having a T we trust is that we can tell them stuff that we are utterly convinced is going to appall them. And then we go back, time and again, and eventually it sinks in that none of it has altered their perception of us one bit.

Hopefully, in time, you'll experience that with your T, and it will start to sink in that the shame isn't necessary. That we have nothing to be ashamed of at all, and people can like us, respect us, and feel compassion for us, no matter what horrors we have up our sleeve.

In the meantime, shame is a great big awful feeling to have to sit with. It will pass - be gentle with yourself in the meantime.

 

[Bristol]

That is an anazing achievement you should feel really proud of yourself try to focus on that rather than the other feelings, i know exactly how you feel but you have done really well!

 

[Snowflake]

One of the great things about having a T we trust is that we can tell them stuff that we are utt...

I think I apologized to her about 10 times. I felt so sorry for her-to hear that

 

[Snowflake]

I am numb now-my eyes burning from trying not to cry at work-I want to call her and apologize again -I feel and remember so clearly the things I told her (read) -almost as if it was happening right now- I want to vomit.

 

[Tinyflame]

:hug::hug::hug:

 

[Missycat]

You took a brave step, well done.
I absolutely understand how you feel.
I couldnt talk to my T about the abuse/incest so i shared my journal with her via email.
I was so embarrassed and worried when i went to session the following week. She was amazing though and explained that nothing i told her was going to shock her, she was supportive and empathic , she told me i was brave for taking the big step. I still find it difficult now, the guilt and the shame is awful and hard and i feel sick to the pit of my stomach when we do emdr - she reminds me that the focus is on me getting better not on how she feels.
Talk to your T at your next session about how you feel and im sure she will put your mind at rest.
All the best x

 

[Powder]

The first few times I vocalized my pain, I also feel terrible about breaking that icy wall of silence.

But I'm so glad later that I did. Silence is a killer. It steals your truth from your consciousness and keeps you alone with the past and the pain.

You allowed this other person to be aware of your pain. That is such an important step! Be proud of your strength. It took a lot of good to get to that point. All good work is challenging at times.

This shame you are feeling was programmed for you to feel so that you wouldn't talk back then. It serves no purpose now. It's only purpose was to protect abusers from getting caught or having the natural consequences that they earned.

You did the right thing. There is no shame in being a survivor of abuse, nor it getting help for yourself.

But accept the emotion was part of the trauma process then. Let the emotion be heard for what it is, truly one of the worst parts of the anguish of the suffering that is caused by cruel and evil treatment of another human being. Let it lead you to self-compassion.

You have my deepest respect.

 

[Snowflake]

You took a brave step, well done.
I absolutely understand how you feel.
I couldnt talk to my T about...

She stressed that she doesn't think less of me but it still scares me

 

[EveHarrington]

:hug:

 

[Snowflake]

Gosh I feel so uptight and panicky-my husband even asked what's wrong-my mind is still thinking/feeling/seeing what I told her. I need to shut my mind up/off.