Asking For Support, Encouragement... -- Sharing Trigger And Trauma

[p-no]

Hi,

Don't know if this is in the right section...

Last week I got severely triggered by something the guy I've been dating said to me. I said I would share with him what happened, what the trigger and the trauma is. I said, by the latest by Sunday. So, I have been "happily" avoiding the subject until now because I'm scared of "going there". I'm scared of getting triggered again, and/or of going into panic attacks again, as I did last week, on and off for days in a row.

So, I am asking for any support and encouragement, pep talk, a hug, anything. I feel scared of not "making it" (i.e. writing it all down and not going down the drain emotionally) and would just like to know I will. I know I will survive it, it's just that knowing sometimes doesn't help. :confused:

Thank you.

 

[Abstract]

Oh, lots of encourage and support to you p-no! You are very brave and you can do this. You are so right that knowing and feeling are two different things.

Is there anything you can do that will break it down into bite sized pieces?

 

[p-no]

Thank you, Abstract. I will read and reread your words.

Not really. My mind constantly makes connections (possible ADHD) and breaking it down into bite sized pieces would still have me to have long breaks in between writing out those pieces. Would probably take months (literally) to write it out in a way I'd not get affected. :confused:

Thanks for suggesting though.

 

[digger]

:hug:
Would explaining what you've explained here to him be an option maybe. That you would really like to talk about it but actually you're scared that it's going to affect you too much if you do. Explain how the week has been for you?

 

[Hashi]

(((((((((((p-no))))))))))

Sending lots of support and comfort to you.

What a difficult thing to have to do, but I hope it's a healing thing. Know that you are good person, safe in the present, grounded, brave and strong.

Tons of good wishes.

 

[RussH]

Consider yourself hugged. I would focus more on the triggers and how the affect you, and not so much on the trauma. You can also shape it such a way that you are enlisting his help and support as you work on getting better.

If he is a decent, caring guy then he will understand.

 

[Kas_Can_Fly]

I wish you the best of luck, entirely sincerely and because luck isn't really what matters, I wish you strength, courage, that your triggers stay at bay and that all goes as well as it can and that you are safely, gently loved by your partner enough for him to see how wonderful you are after surviving all of this and still sharing yourself with him. Good luck and safe hugs.

 

[p-no]

Would explaining what you've explained here to him be an option maybe.

Thanks, digger, also for the hug.

Not really, I think. He would accept it, I am sure, but it would not help sorting out if and how this thing with him can continue. I think I have to face this and want to, too. It's just it's not easy.

 

[p-no]

I would focus more on the triggers and how the affect you, and not so much on the trauma. You can also shape it such a way that you are enlisting his help and support as you work on getting better.

Thank you, Russ.

Problem is: He has a traumatic history including one item of same type of trauma. I.e. if I tell him to not use the word "kill", I also convey he cannot talk about his trauma as it would involve that very word. :confused: This is where I am currently stuck at writing my e-mail.

He said he didn't need to be protected, but I also say that and have come to a point of realizing that we're all just people. We can only take so much. Also, he wants me to be able to be open, and I want him to be. I truly want him to be able to talk about his traumas -- when it's a very similar experience that gets real difficult. :confused:

 

[p-no]

@Kas_Can_Fly Thanks so much. There's a lot to work around on both sides of the fence.

 

[Kas_Can_Fly]

Hopefully between the two of you, there will be enough of a safe environment to help you feel safe and not get triggered by him or anything he had to say, and that even if you do he will be good towards you in that difficult time and vice versa.

 

[RussH]

Thank you, Russ.

Problem is: He has a traumatic history including one item of same type of trauma. I.e. if I tell him to not use the word "kill", I also convey he cannot talk about his trauma as it would involve that very word. :confused: This is where I am currently stuck at writing my e-mail.

Maybe you two can find words you agree on that will convey the same message, but without the triggering effects? Anyway I am not a therapist; just another trauma vicitm, and I certainly wish you well as you discuss these issues, and know that we are here as support for you.