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Sufferer Avenue For Recovery

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I_am_Me

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My story probably begins before my first breath. I was told I was conceived despite the pill, then as my mother took diet pills as she was getting bigger with me. NO lie.

Subsequent to that and beyond speculation, she took us from my Dad when I was in first grade and moved from MI to AZ. She moved every year. I was kidnapped and molested when I was in 3rd grade. I was repetitively molested by her 2nd husband. In 1979 I moved to WI where my Dad was.

I thought that my life would settle down to where I would be able to more positively develop... huh-uh. My half brother was sent too and would beat me sporadically whenever the notion struck to do so. Hit, kick, punch, jumped on my ribs once. He wasn't reprimanded and Dad knew. It makes me wonder why he kept him instead of sending him back to mother. There was nowhere I could be in safety.

After I graduated high school, I moved to CA, my sister had invited me there. Her husband nearly raped me one night.

I married the person I found and became pregnant with. Let me tell you that's a book and a half in itself. He didn't pay any attention to the baby, would run from her when she was sick. He would tell me not to go for walks (even with 2 Rough Collies) cuz someone would come up and put a gun in my or her face... there's gang members one way, drug dealers on the corner and inmates live up the street. He would say that she's worth $100 grand to a drug dealer cuz she's a healthy white baby girl. That ought to give you enough of a proper impression about him.

The rebound relationship was worse than him in a shorter amount of time.

My 'life' has just been one strike after another without the ability to get a breath. I'm not telling you everything here for different reasons.

I have been to several different professionals over the years and have taken several different combinations of prescriptions for depression - the most common diagnosis. I become very anxious when I have to enter social situations. I was diagnosed PTSD within the last couple of years.

On Jan. 15 2012 I was flown to a heart hospital and underwent a Thoracic Aortic Dissection. I have some difficulties stemming from that... one of which being some memory loss.

I am continuing to work through my experiences and fully face them with the aid of a trauma counselor. There's only so much that can be accomplished with such a small amount of time, albeit with regularity.

I have discovered the possibility of a Psychiatric Service Dog. I have raised and trained (well) a German bred GSD and have found a source which trains them for the tasks needed for people with psychiatric disabilities.

Thank you for reading this.
 
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I don't relate to all the details or the horror of kidnapping, but the traumas that kept happening (and from birth...my mom was wrongly induced, wth, so I went right into the incubator...she thinks her doc was just anxious to get to Florida). While depression can be part of it, I'm glad you got a more comprehensive diagnosis. I'm glad you're getting some trauma treatment for all you've been through. And welcome to the forum!
 
It is very difficult to know you weren't wanted as a baby. I was an oops baby. As for your ex. First of all the going rate for a white baby is 10k not 100k. And drug dealers rarely want to get involved in selling children although they will try and sell their own children occasionally. Just saying. I know a little to much about the subject.
 
I an so sorry to hear about what you've been through. If I may ask, are you still with your husband?

Welcome to the forum.
 
I have a service dog. She's everything to me. Right now she's at the hospital bleeding internally. So I just came home and went to bed . A dogs love is so pure so genuine so calming. Good luck with yours.
 
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