Avoidance of the topic of avoidance

[mumstheword]

I'm so frightened of this nurse I won't even.go out to get my prn, which is meds "when needed" because I have to ask the scary nurse. I probably need the meds though but I already had a valium earlier today. Not sure what to do, I was really making headway and facing my fears and starting to feel safe in here.
There's also another patient who I find triggery, she been.pretty bitchy and mean to a really young vulnerable patient and it really upset me. I've stood up for this young woman time and time again.but this mean woman is very crafty with her bitchy and has a long standing history here, whereas it's my first admission here. Oh well, I guess triggers are bound to happen, that's what I'm here to address.
I think.I'll just bite the bullet and get the drugs anyway. I did last week, when.nurse Judy was in and it was fine. I just felt a little groggy next day.

 

[KwanYingirl]

@mumstheword i did an intensive outpatient program and there was one girl who took over every group talk ad nauseum and then there was a very dangerous bipolar guy that I finally had to tell them either he goes or I do. He just scared me so much. They admitted him. But I tried to stay focused on the skills they were teaching so all in all I’m glad I did it. I hope you can get your meds...

 

[AngelKeeperJ]

@KerriJ you might like videos by Tara Brach. She has one titled Healing the Fear Body. There are many to choose from. She talks about a problem many people have, then explains the psychology of it, why we act the way we act, then teaches an exercise using mindfulness, acceptance, etc. she is a wonderful speaker with a sense of humor.

THANK YOU for mentioning this lady! I had forgotten about her videos! (I avoid things that are good for me) She has the MOST calming voice!

Thank you @Mal Content , hug gratefully accepted. I'm actually having the hardest night I've had in here, in terms of being triggered, feeling unsafe and hiding and avoiding.

((( HUGS ))) (((@mumstheword )))
I am SOOOO SORRY that you aren't feeling safe!!! I hope you can feel the energy of those of us who KNOW and LOVE YOU!!!!

We are STANDING with you as your "team" knowing that you are doing the BEST thing that you can do for YOURSELF, your HONEY, and your kids! YOU DESERVE TO BE HEALTHY!!! You are no longer avoiding your demons! GO, YOU!!!


I am PRAYING that the negative things going on where you are will NOT hinder your healing journey!


Each time I went into inpatient care, there was SOME staff member that belonged on the PATIENT side with MAJOR Personality Disorder! I wrote one up and filled a complaint. Didn't hear anything about it but I saw him working at KMART a few years later. Ha!

(If people would document and report the neglect and mistreatment of the bad staff members it would be great. It's a hard thing to do, things might change?)
((()))

I am sorry I went off topic, (((@KwanYingirl ))) It's a GREAT topic and I think a HUGE one!

I have always been the "Queen of Denial" and avoid ANYTHING that reminds me of my some of my traumas. Thankful, some have receded to where they don't hold power any more.

It's easier to avoid talking about or thinking about the things that I fear the most. I can pretend that I don't have a mental illness... Or two.

It takes courage to seek out the areas that we need to work on, and it's pretty obvious that you have courage! There's a quote that I don't know who said it, but it's, "Without fear there is no courage." Congrats on your initiative!

 

[mumstheword]

THANK YOU for mentioning this lady! I had forgotten about her videos! (I avoid things that are...

Thank you dear @AngelkeeperJ/AKJ , today was good. I got to face those issues and talk some of them out and a lot of that has been resolved, or at least I've been able to voice it to the head nurse and things have eased a lot. Facing avoidance patterns in a trauma informed hospital setting is pretty amazing, when you get to voice and identify some of the issues related to them, especially in a therapeutic relationship within this kind of secure environment. Lucky for me, one of the more "seasoned" inpatients (its a program that people often come in and do regularly over many years) voiced issues that has been really impacting on me, in group, this morning, which was such a relief! Because I didn't want to, didn't know how to, and was too frightened to bring up what was causing me to feel so unsafe, so I voiced my gratitude in the group, for her sharing her issues; really the same stuff, that was impacting me. So progress!!!! :-):stop::happy:

 

[KwanYingirl]

Best wishes @mumstheword it sounds like a great opportunity to unload some burdens. Name it, claim it, dump it.

 

[Rumors]

my inspiration for this thread is the fact that very few threads created under the Avoidace categor...

I think we are the same person... I am realizing just how different I am than the rest of the world. All of the little weird things I can’t do bc of fear or shame or the thousand idiosyncrasies that make me who I am. It is exhausting.

 

[Sandstone]

I've also noted that we avoid even acknowledging our avoidance. It runs so deep in me, as the way to manage anything challenging. I caught myself again recently. I'd offered online friendship to someone, then as soon as they responded., I blanked them. This is someone I genuinely like. It is what I did with my real world friends long ago - they are lovely people, but I can't respond to their overtures.