Other Avoidant attachment / avoidant personality disorder

[NowYouSeeMe]

Hi everyone,
I have been seeing a therapist and had about 5 sessions now. At the end of the last session I queried if I really had ptsd. His response was "you do have ptsd but it's not just ptsd and we aren't treating that at the moment" but he didn't tell me what it was we are treating right now. He really looked like he wanted to though and now I'm naturally very curious! The word avoidance comes up ALL THE TIME in our sessions. I know avoidant personality disorder can co-occur with ptsd and that sometimes the two diagnoses may be confused.im reading about avoidant attachment disorder in adults and I really identify with a lot of the diagnostic criteria. I asked my husband to tell me honestly which of the two best describes me, if at all. He picked avoidant attachment. One of the things my book says is that therapists should refrain from specifying a diagnostic label for adults with avoidant attachment until they ask to know. I wonder if this is what he's doing as he is generally quite open/informative with me. Has anyone else had experience with or been told they have either of these conditions and if so, what was the therapy/outcome like for you? I wasn't sure if I was meant to ask him what I was being treated for or if I wasn't meant to know. I'm not seeing him for 2 weeks now because he's away so trying not to dwell on it, but...l you know how it is

 

[Anarchy]

I'd actually suggest avoiding ;) trying to self diagnose

I know that it is natural to be curious, but your T should know what they are doing...

and having a label (correct or incorrect) isn't going to change the process.

can I draw an analogy with looking up disease symptoms on the net - before you know it, you'll have got a match for ebola, leprosy, anthrax, bubonic plague, and fifty or so ultra rare cancers:wtf:
and you almost certainly won't have any of them. but it will still worry you for a while:nailbiting:

------------------------------------------
edit:
Hmmm; rabies - now that one was a genuine possibility:whistling:

 

[Abstract]

Haha Anarchy!

NowYouSeeMe,
I think it would be very early for a t to diagnose you with a personality disorder as they are quite complex conditions. Ideally you would be doing a thorough questionnaire and be evaluated with a psychiatrist. Many of us are avoidant in general. Its one of the criteria! And many of us have attachment issues if we have had childhood trauma. Even without that though PTSD often brings with it confusion about emotional intimacy and an inability to tolerate closeness. Its totally normal for PTSD.

He may be speaking in generalities. In other words you are dealing with the other stuff we experience that is a result of bad things happening (especially early). Like trust, coping skills relationships etc. It doesn't have to mean you have a PD.

When it comes to self diagnoses - I have zero doubt I fitted APD even though no one ever said to me I had it! I definitely wouldn't fit the criteria now. I do believe I still have an attachment disorder and its one of the things that interferes the most in my life at this point, I am very avoidant! Speak to him about this when you go back.

What would it mean to you if you do have APD?

 

[NowYouSeeMe]

I don't know

 

[Abstract]

Would it help to discuss the actual things you are struggling with here? Are they effecting your life badly? I think its totally fine for you to discuss this with him. They dont like to tell someone they have a PD if they feel the identity would impede the persons recovery or if they would be a danger to themselves or others if they did know. Have you read up about complex trauma before?

 

[sedna]

Hi everyone,
I have been seeing a therapist and had about 5 sessions now. At the end of the last s...

I've been diagnosed with that. I cant remember any therapist having a problem telling me I have APD either.
I wasnt just diagnosed with it once, but repeatedly by just about every therapist I went to for 25 years.

I know that in general they dont like giving out labels in the personality disorder category, it can cause damage to someones progress or make them defensive. In mental illness that requires medication, they have to tell you what the disorder is but thats not the case with PD's.

With APD it's very helpful to understand what it is and how it develops to get better and make progress. I cant imagine why it would be bad to know thats a part of your problem . I can see why a patient wouldnt get told they are Borderline or Narcissistic though, but this is different.

You referred to a husband, thats a possible sign that you're more mild and have adapted pretty well? Maybe thats why he didnt want to just slap a label on you.

 

[EveHarrington]

I think it would be best to hold off on discussions about APD until you talk more to your therapist. It's incredibly easy to mis diagnose ones self. Since you're just guessing as to what he's treating now, I advise holding off instead of heading down a bunny trail that may not be what he's treating at all.

I say this as someone who suspected a personality disorder in myself only to have my doc say no-------it's all just a result of trauma.

 

[Suzetig]

I agree with the other posters, self diagnosis isn't generally helpful - I can look at dozen different criteria and fit them all despite, at the moment, being pretty well mentally. Diagnosis won't change your treatment and can actually become harmful when the individual comes start to look for ways in which someone with "X" should behave or feel etc. in short, labels can be helpful sometimes but not always.

Being avoidant is a behaviour, it may be symptomatic of some form of disorder or not, some people just struggle to face things that they find difficult and tend to avoid (whether it be conflict, or commitment, or whatever), it doesn't mean there's something wrong with them per se. Avoidance is also a symptom of PTSD, in that people will avoid reminders of their trauma and situations that take them back into that place. But avoidance in and of itself doesn't tend to be pathological and being avoidant and avoidant attachment aren't the same thing.

A good percentage of the population for example will have an anxious/avoidant attachment style but that in and of itself doesn't tend to cause problems, it's just the way they relate to people to have their needs meant. Actually much higher percentages of the population have anxious/avoidant or anxious/ambivalent attachment styles than have a secure attachment style and the vast majority function well and have few issues. Personality disorders are fairly complex to assess and diagnose, so while you may think you fit, and by all means should talk to your therapist about it if it concerns you, I'd not get too hung up on it because your treatment isn't necessarily diagnosis dependent.

The other thing to bear in mind is that in the UK the majority of therapists aren't diagnosticians, they'll develop a formulation and treat you accordingly but don't tend to formally diagnose so they may not want to or be prepared to label you in the way you want.

 

[NowYouSeeMe]

Thanks for the replies everyone they were really helpful x