Baby Nurses Infant Mother........

[pamcoco]

I posted a thread in December about my mother wanting me to die and the attempts by her and her husband to force me to sign over most of my net wort. I am penniless these days alive, but dead am worth about a mil. I haven't spoken to them since and they left on a vacation to Asia for 3 months, meanwhile claiming that the money they have spent helping me out has made them financially desperate and unable to pay the mortgage.

My mom returned from the trip and sent me an email on 2/11 saying:

Hi Pamela,
Want you to know that we are back and that I love you!
Mom


I wrote back and said:

Welcome home and I love you too, mom!


Then on 2/22 she sent me a photo of my niece without any comment or message. I didn't respond.

I knew it was driving her f-ing crazy and also know she is stirring up sh*t in the family about me. But it would only matter if I spoke to my family, so it doesn't matter. Also I have nothing to say. I am sick of being the one with the bullseye on my forehead and it has finally sunk in that if I am vapor any criticism holds no water or merit. It is the most control I have felt concerning my family in a long while.

Today I get this manipulative, narcissistic, f-ed up email:

Dear Pam,
I need to inquire if we are not emailing back and forth because you are still in a being alone mode or because you believe we are angry with you about the money deal. If the latter is true I want you to know that neither one of us is upset about all that occurred. If the former is why please forgive my intrusion and know that I will not contact you again until you let me know it is OK or something major happens.
In either case, I miss you and I pledge to not bring up anything you do not wish to talk about if you do feel like communicating with me.
Much love and always good wishes for a great life,
Mom


It is hard to explain the way this highlights my mothers insanity and the way she has used me my entire life. I know that is dramatic but it was always my job to make her feel okay. This email blatantly points this out.

Any suggestions for a response?

 

[franciemarnie]

How about no response since she said she will not contact you again until you say it's okay.

I was told by the police once not to engage in any conversation whatsoever with an insane person who was trying to get back into my life. Literally not one word or it would encourage them.

But you know what you are comfortable with.

 

[Hashi]

I have to agree with franciemarnie. If you respond, you're engaging with someone who I can't help feeling would be best not to engage with like this.

Otherwise, I have a feeling of getting hooked in.. hooked in to drama, hooked in to game playing (even if it's subconscious) and just generally getting hooked in when that might not be the best thing for you.

It sounds like an awful situation. Can you walk away? (Walk away from responding, that is.)

 

[Hashi]

I'm curious about the title of your thread. Why "nurses"?

 

[pamcoco]

I'm curious about the title of your thread. Why "nurses"?

It may be a title that makes no sense, but it seems our rolls have been reversed since I was born. My mom showered me with love, as long as I took care of her and punished me when I didn't. Really it is still that way. So it feels like my job has always been to nourish her infantile persona. Until about 5 years ago we were always immeshed. It has been a huge loss for both of us. But I am fighting for survival and healing. She has become a block and I simply can't place her before me any longer. But I miss her.