Bear's Rules!

[BigBear]

Hi all,

In our personal situation, I have had to re-educate my sufferer. She suffered through so many false rules from her parents, so now we have "Bear's Rules". I thought I would post some of them here.

You are also welcome to publish your own home rules here (in accordance with the content rules of the forum), but I'd hope that you'd publish the contrarian rule that it is supplanting.

Please also remember that this is a public area! So be careful with your phrasing and where you copy things from...

Bear's Rule #1: It's OK to cry! (Humans need to cry! And no matter what your parents (or others) said, you are human.)

Contrarian Rule: If my sufferer was to cry, she was beaten until she stopped crying. And then you will continue to be beaten until I feel better. So the rule was, if you cry you will suffer beyond any possible sense of reason.

 

[Toria]

Home Rule #1. It's okay to be yourself.

Contrarian Rule: I must put a brave face on


Home Rule #2: Home is where you are safe and can be yourself without judgement.

Contrarian Rule: It's a big bad world out there...


I'm not sure where the Contrarian Rules came from - the Army I guess. That and a bit of ex-wife thrown in to the mix for good measure...

Brilliant thread Bear

 

[KP the nut]

KPs rule - It is good to speak out and say no.

Contrarian Rule - growing up it was ingrained into me not to question what others did, I had to stay quiet and not make waves.

 

[Tinyflame]

Thanks to all, especially that one Bear. :hug:

 

[BigBear]

Bear's Rule #2: Being bouncy, playing, and having fun are good things. They should be rewarded.

Contrarian Rule: Anything that makes you more excited than me is inappropriate. Anything that puts an emphasis on you is inappropriate. The Inappropriate will be both punished and ridiculed!

Bear's Rule #3: You may eat or not eat whatever we have available. You are worth anything that I can buy!

Contrarian Rule: You may not eat anything that is especially good. Those are only for me. You may not eat anything that I do not give you. You must eat everything that I give you no mater how loathsome you feel it is. To not obey this rule is inappropriate. See rule 2...

Bear

 

[Britt.f7]

Bear's Rule #3, this was my mom's rule at our house. My dad's house was the Contrarian rule. It was very hard to understand as a child. Also we had to ask to even look in the fridge or get anything to eat or drink.

I like rule #3. That is the rule in our house as well.

 

[KP the nut]

KP rule. It is okay not to be okay.

Contrarian Rule - I would never admit to being less than fine no matter what. My darling husband has told me numerous times that it is okay not to be fine and to acknowledge that.

 

[amethist]

My darling husband has told me numerous times that it is okay not to be fine and to acknowledge that.

It is some times easier to cope as a supporter if we know you are not OK. So go on be brave and just say " I am not too good, but hanging in there."

 

[Toria]

I second that Amethist - it is so frustrating to ask Husband what's wrong and you just get "I'm fine" when it's so blooming obvious that he is anything but. I know - talking can be painful - but see Toria's Rules #1 & #2 :)

 

[Whitneys story]

Great thread!