Ellabella44
Diamond Member
awesome update!!! again so proud of him and his progress!!! He definately is doing great challenging his boundaries. letting go of his jacket was good to hear. and starting to trust other dogs off leash - good for him!
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Been Found By A Rescue Dog
- Post starter City Slicker
- Start date
- Status
Friday
Sponsor
I just love this so hard. :happy:
ETA
I was still mourning my dog when you met Hank, although I've been reading since the beginning. Yours & Anthony's & Nicolette's sharing have helped immeasurably. Thank you.
ETA
I was still mourning my dog when you met Hank, although I've been reading since the beginning. Yours & Anthony's & Nicolette's sharing have helped immeasurably. Thank you.
- Post starter
- #135
City Slicker
Platinum Member
@FridayJones, thank you for what you wrote. I understand only the tip now of what it would be like to mourn the loss of our cherished friend. I will share more and hope that it continues to bring help for you. It is my honour.
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- Post starter
- #136
City Slicker
Platinum Member
Thank you @Ellabella44 - he's come a long way and he's helped me come a long way in challenging my own boundaries too. I think I have become a lot more real and grounded since Hank's come into my life. I can feel it in myself.
@barefoot - thank you for reading and for your words. It truly feels like the first real thing I have ever built that was outside myself!
@barefoot - thank you for reading and for your words. It truly feels like the first real thing I have ever built that was outside myself!
- Post starter
- #137
City Slicker
Platinum Member
@ladee, you are so kind and supportive. Thank you. Hank has changed me in so many ways I am just feeling my way through that now. I am more emotional about things since he's come into my life. I cry easily - and that's not something I generally do lol. I feel more 'authentic '- and with that has come incredible contentedness, a feeling of not being alone any more, of knowing I have someone to share things with. At the same time, I feel more of the past trauma - the old childhood stuff of what it was like to not be cared for and to have been hurt sometime just for being there.
I think the more authentic I become the more great feelings will come but also the more the old crap has a chance to come out too. So I let myself be sad when it comes knowing it's gotta be healing in the end and I know it's probably safe now - with Hank here, to let myself feel the feelings for a few minutes, acknowledge them and then move on.
I had been struggling with the past and where it fit. Since Hank, the struggling has stopped and it seems as though the details of what I was trying to sort out don't matter anymore as much as just accepting that it all happened and that I can feel what I need to about all that without it needing to make the kind of sense I was trying to make it make.
With Hank it's like the past has ceased to define me. I know Hank didn't actually do this but his presence was the grounding I needed without knowing I needed it. I see it now.
I think the more authentic I become the more great feelings will come but also the more the old crap has a chance to come out too. So I let myself be sad when it comes knowing it's gotta be healing in the end and I know it's probably safe now - with Hank here, to let myself feel the feelings for a few minutes, acknowledge them and then move on.
I had been struggling with the past and where it fit. Since Hank, the struggling has stopped and it seems as though the details of what I was trying to sort out don't matter anymore as much as just accepting that it all happened and that I can feel what I need to about all that without it needing to make the kind of sense I was trying to make it make.
With Hank it's like the past has ceased to define me. I know Hank didn't actually do this but his presence was the grounding I needed without knowing I needed it. I see it now.
D
Deleted member 12723
Thank you so very much for the update! I so appreciate this story of you and Hank. It is so inspiring to me and models for me what kind of things I need in my own life to continue to get better and inspires me to give to myself all of the things I did not get growing up. I can so identify with Hank before and after, hope this makes sense.
- Post starter
- #139
City Slicker
Platinum Member
@gizmo, yes, it makes so much sense. I feel the same way.
ladee
VIP Member
Thank you @City Slicker for sharing your healing with us. I am sorry to hear of your pain and sadness, but also know that is part of the healing journey. And you are safe with Hank. You are able to give to Hank what you did not get, and in turn he is giving you a safety to feel what you need to. And to feel his love in return.
And I absolutely understand about trying to make sense of something that defies any labels.. Pain is pain.. feel it, heal it.
I appreciate you sharing your journey with Hank... you are helping us to heal with your story. That kind of love does exist. Hank is my hero... and you are so blessed to have him. Every time I think of him, I get a goofy smile on my face! And that helps me to understand that I can feel joy, and happiness, and I feel many of us relate to his story. Sweet baby, he has no idea how many love him and are so happy he found you. I am so grateful you failed at fostering. As I am sure he is too.
Gentle hugs to both of you. Thanks for the update.
And I absolutely understand about trying to make sense of something that defies any labels.. Pain is pain.. feel it, heal it.
I appreciate you sharing your journey with Hank... you are helping us to heal with your story. That kind of love does exist. Hank is my hero... and you are so blessed to have him. Every time I think of him, I get a goofy smile on my face! And that helps me to understand that I can feel joy, and happiness, and I feel many of us relate to his story. Sweet baby, he has no idea how many love him and are so happy he found you. I am so grateful you failed at fostering. As I am sure he is too.
Gentle hugs to both of you. Thanks for the update.
- Post starter
- #141
City Slicker
Platinum Member
Today I took Hank to his very first dog class.
It's a series of five classes and I thought maybe we could try one together and see whether he liked it or whether it would be a bit too much for him. I am so protective of him when we are out and I started wondering if a class might help with his (my) ability to be around other dogs only in a safer space where the dogs would be leashed and all engaged in their own things.
I called the trainer before we signed up and I told her all about Hank and to ask whether a class would be good environment for him. She was extremely grounded and seemed experienced with dogs with issues from the past. She offered that if Hank were to become overwhelmed she would have an assistant with us and we would be watching for Hank's signs before he either shut down or grumbled at other dogs to get away from him which he does when we encounter dogs off leash on our walks.
She said she would be keeping an eye on him and that there was another room off the big area where I could take Hank if it seemed too much for him and where we could do some private lessons if need be.
She had a really good grasp of potential situations and I really liked that she had thought through some safe spaces for Hank in case things got wonky.
So off we went. Standing outside while we waited with the other dogs for them to open the church (it was in a church basement) Hank was a little curious of the other dogs but he stayed close to me and didn't seem stressed or agitated at all. One dog was a real barker and at one point he brought his ball over to Hank and dropped it for him and then barked at Hank. I could see Hank getting a bit stiff in his body language but I reached over with my toe and touched the ball and made a happy sound to Hank. While Hank didn't go for the ball he did walk a few paces and give it and the little dog a big sniff.
When we got into the class, Hank had his first shut down reaction. He walked over to the corner and then sat down with his back to the room. At this point the assistant came over and said , 'it's ok, he's just working it all out. let's give him a minute and see if he can develop a little tiny bit of confidence'. She sat down beside him and held his leash and told me to go over to one of the other people and just stand with them and wait.
It took Hank a few seconds before he turned his head to look for me (a good sign). The trainer then asked him 'do you want to go over there' - looking at me and nodding her head in my direction. I think Hank understood what she was indicating because I think he was trying to locate me. Hank made a motion to start moving and within seconds and with help from the trainer he had turned around and had started to walk across the floor over to me - it was about 15 feet but he did it. And he let the trainer hold his leash the entire time.
Then she asked the other dogs to move back and form a semi circle around Hank in front of him. Every dog was getting praise for the activity. Once they moved back she asked me to get Hank to heel and then told me to drop the leash and walk a few paces from Hank. I did and Hank watched me the whole time without moving. Then I called him to me and it was the first time I saw him run to me, happy, and seemingly delighted with this new activity. So we worked on this the whole night all in and around the other dogs and people working on their tasks. Some dogs were off leash and aside from a sniff or a bit of head swing to see what was going on around him, Hank stayed focussed on the entire exercise.
I took him out for a break mid way and he did not pull at all on the leash when we went back in. The second part of the class was walking with our dogs on leash and basically getting them to feel what 'heel' was like and for us to hold the leash properly. Again Hank was perfect.
At the end of the class the assistants took the dogs to one end of the room and the people were at the other. We were facing our dogs and then we were supposed to call them and get them to come right to us. Hank and a second of hesitation I think because there was so much activity but then came right to me. The woman next to me who had been closest to us asked if it was ok if she patted Hank. I had Hank sit and she approached him under his chin. He loved it. He let her pat him, he rolled his head in her hand and took ever single scritch she had to offer.
Walking out after class Hank was bouncing on his toes - that's what he does when he's happy. When we got home and I prepared his dinner I could see that he was tired - a little more than usual which I think is normal for the amount of stimulation he had. Right now he's sleeping really close to me and has his front paw over my foot. He did this the very first day I met him and stayed for a few hours with him in his kennel. I would stay here all night like this if he needed me to.
They say the classes are more for the people - I think they are right - I cried all the way home - good tears. Really good tears. I so love this boy. Next class I will buy him an ice cream cone. Maybe I should buy me one too.
It's a series of five classes and I thought maybe we could try one together and see whether he liked it or whether it would be a bit too much for him. I am so protective of him when we are out and I started wondering if a class might help with his (my) ability to be around other dogs only in a safer space where the dogs would be leashed and all engaged in their own things.
I called the trainer before we signed up and I told her all about Hank and to ask whether a class would be good environment for him. She was extremely grounded and seemed experienced with dogs with issues from the past. She offered that if Hank were to become overwhelmed she would have an assistant with us and we would be watching for Hank's signs before he either shut down or grumbled at other dogs to get away from him which he does when we encounter dogs off leash on our walks.
She said she would be keeping an eye on him and that there was another room off the big area where I could take Hank if it seemed too much for him and where we could do some private lessons if need be.
She had a really good grasp of potential situations and I really liked that she had thought through some safe spaces for Hank in case things got wonky.
So off we went. Standing outside while we waited with the other dogs for them to open the church (it was in a church basement) Hank was a little curious of the other dogs but he stayed close to me and didn't seem stressed or agitated at all. One dog was a real barker and at one point he brought his ball over to Hank and dropped it for him and then barked at Hank. I could see Hank getting a bit stiff in his body language but I reached over with my toe and touched the ball and made a happy sound to Hank. While Hank didn't go for the ball he did walk a few paces and give it and the little dog a big sniff.
When we got into the class, Hank had his first shut down reaction. He walked over to the corner and then sat down with his back to the room. At this point the assistant came over and said , 'it's ok, he's just working it all out. let's give him a minute and see if he can develop a little tiny bit of confidence'. She sat down beside him and held his leash and told me to go over to one of the other people and just stand with them and wait.
It took Hank a few seconds before he turned his head to look for me (a good sign). The trainer then asked him 'do you want to go over there' - looking at me and nodding her head in my direction. I think Hank understood what she was indicating because I think he was trying to locate me. Hank made a motion to start moving and within seconds and with help from the trainer he had turned around and had started to walk across the floor over to me - it was about 15 feet but he did it. And he let the trainer hold his leash the entire time.
Then she asked the other dogs to move back and form a semi circle around Hank in front of him. Every dog was getting praise for the activity. Once they moved back she asked me to get Hank to heel and then told me to drop the leash and walk a few paces from Hank. I did and Hank watched me the whole time without moving. Then I called him to me and it was the first time I saw him run to me, happy, and seemingly delighted with this new activity. So we worked on this the whole night all in and around the other dogs and people working on their tasks. Some dogs were off leash and aside from a sniff or a bit of head swing to see what was going on around him, Hank stayed focussed on the entire exercise.
I took him out for a break mid way and he did not pull at all on the leash when we went back in. The second part of the class was walking with our dogs on leash and basically getting them to feel what 'heel' was like and for us to hold the leash properly. Again Hank was perfect.
At the end of the class the assistants took the dogs to one end of the room and the people were at the other. We were facing our dogs and then we were supposed to call them and get them to come right to us. Hank and a second of hesitation I think because there was so much activity but then came right to me. The woman next to me who had been closest to us asked if it was ok if she patted Hank. I had Hank sit and she approached him under his chin. He loved it. He let her pat him, he rolled his head in her hand and took ever single scritch she had to offer.
Walking out after class Hank was bouncing on his toes - that's what he does when he's happy. When we got home and I prepared his dinner I could see that he was tired - a little more than usual which I think is normal for the amount of stimulation he had. Right now he's sleeping really close to me and has his front paw over my foot. He did this the very first day I met him and stayed for a few hours with him in his kennel. I would stay here all night like this if he needed me to.
They say the classes are more for the people - I think they are right - I cried all the way home - good tears. Really good tears. I so love this boy. Next class I will buy him an ice cream cone. Maybe I should buy me one too.
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ladee
VIP Member
What an outstanding boy Hank is, and his Mom is so loving and loyal to him, and him to her. He has come so far, and so have you !!! Just not the right words to express how excited I am for both of you !!! Hank has so much to teach all of us... it's about learning to trust. It's about taking risks, and having that trusted person still be there. It's about living this life we have been given, and that the magnifying glass of fear keeps us so locked in our cages. No matter whose voice we hear, telling us it's going to be ok, we simply need to listen, and to hear, it's going to be OK. Thank you for sharing an update of our forum dog... I hope you don't mind sharing him with us.. he is my inspiration so many times.... I just think of Hank.... and it's going to be OK... Gentle hugs for both of you !
You're doing so great - both of you! :hug::hug::hug: It's so wonderful how Hank becomes more lively and how you react to him. You're the most wonderful "pair", I've ever heard of! :happy:
Thank you so much for sharing and updating! :)
Just imagining Hank and the children makes me smile - soooo cute! :inlove::inlove::inlove:
Congratulations for his first class! You develope in such wonderful ways! :laugh:
Thank you so much for sharing and updating! :)
Just imagining Hank and the children makes me smile - soooo cute! :inlove::inlove::inlove:
Congratulations for his first class! You develope in such wonderful ways! :laugh:
D
Deleted member 12723
Thank you so much for the wonderful update. i so appreciate learning things from both Hank and you. Good job on the class and I really believe that Hank does understand so easily.
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