Sufferer Beginning To Understand Flashbacks

[RuthieJujube]

Hi everyone. I hope you are all having a great day.

I am on here because I am going through a great deal of pain and recently beginning to understand what PTSD is. I have been living with symptoms since I was a teen, but just recently discovered that my symptoms are from PTSD. I am now 26. I work as the editor of a weekly farming magazine. I enjoy the work but I am struggling to balance it with my bad days.

Last week I had my first waking flashback (until now I have had very visual nightmares) and the experience really knocked me out. My anxiety has been constant. I am nervous about having more (and have felt some emotional "tremors" since). Yesterday, my depression came on so hard, I could not get up for work. I am a hard worker and I hate the idea of losing grip because of this wave of symptoms.

I am on Paxil and clonazepam, but this week they have not seemed to do much. I also keep zoning out like before and have little motivation.

Any thoughts from the community?

Thank you.

 

[ground crew]

I don't have the waking flashbacks, and no memories of the dreams that wake me. My sympathies. I was about your age when the depressive episodes began. But I was driving a cab at the time and I could be off when I wanted. I could be flat for a day or two and go to work when I felt like it. But I did spend a lot of time laying down writhing in the depression. That does not seem to be the solution. Good job doing something about it. I liked EMDR, seemed to be "bandage off fast" where CBT seemed to be the slower and less disruptive form. I didn't even get competent diagnosis until I was like 45. Deal with it-it gets better.

 

[Deleted member 1860]

Welcome!

 

[Ghostybear73]

Welcome to the forum :)

 

[intothelight]

@RuthieJujube Welcome to the forum! :)

Unfortunately, symptoms sometimes spike when everything seems to be going well. Its like our brain suddenly feels "safe" and starts processing. Are you currently seeing a therapist? A trauma therapist is sometimes the most effective person to help an individual work through trauma and then many of the symptoms, including flashbacks, will dissipate.