Behind a wall

[sunshinedaydream]

Lately I keep having this feeling like I’m disconnected from everything and I’m not in control and when I am doing things, I feel like I’m watching it happen through a glass wall and can’t make my own body move but it’s moving. Is that depersonalization?

 

[joeylittle]

Is that depersonalization?

Sounds like it, yeah. Does it happen when under the influence of any recreational substances? Or have you started any new medications? (It can also be a thing that simply happens, but it's good to rule out the possibility of it being tied to substance use.)

 

[hopetha2]

Wow! I relate to your 'glass wall' analogy... that is often how I feel and I have, for me, found that it is an old survival defense mechanism to protect me, my parts...(which now no longer serves the purpose) I am finding that I have to up the ante and practice more mindfulness skills to try and feel uber present.

 

[sunshinedaydream]

Does it happen when under the influence of any recreational substances? Or have you started any new medications?

No medicine and drugs.

Wow! I relate to your 'glass wall' analogy...

I’ve heard others describe it similarly. I have a lot of feelings I don’t understand and tough to explain. I also realize i noticed that sometimes the feeling of watching is reminiscent of something really familiar but far away and a long time ago. That has happened a few times and I started trying to pay attention to it to try to understand.

 

[subtleomen]

Lately I keep having this feeling like I’m disconnected from everything and I’m not in control and when I am doing things, I feel like I’m watching it happen through a glass wall and can’t make my own body move but it’s moving. Is that depersonalization?

I experience this occasionally. I'm only recently realizing that it is happening and trying to understand it. For me, it really is like a glass wall. It's like I am inside myself, and another person is "in front" doing the talking and I am not controlling the words that come out of my mouth. This has happened to me three times during therapy, and sometimes when I am triggered...almost always, I find that this part of me is somehow being evasive/manipulative or untruthful in order to defend me from potential harm.

I think of it like those sci-fi shows where someone is inside a giant robot controlling it. I am the person inside the giant robot, but it has a mind of it's own. I am there to observe. It even feels different like there is a shift and my energy is different, vibrating faster.

 

[sunshinedaydream]

I experience this occasionally. I'm only recently realizing that it is happening and trying to understand it. For me, it really is like a glass wall. It's like I am inside myself, and another person is "in front" doing the talking and I am not controlling the words that come out of my mouth.

It feels like this.