Being On The Forum Has Taught Me To Become A Better Communicator

[Deleted member 12723]

When I first came here, I was breaking so many rules unintentionally, that I got temporarily banned.

I love the mods and the rules that are set up because they have helped me so much.

I have been learning so much about how to say something in an appropriate way. I continually learn from my many mistakes here and it is helping me in real life.

I am having success in saying what I mean in a non defensive way. Practice all of the time.

I never learned how to be social, with others because I was raised to be the perfect victim. I was never allowed to say the word no to my parents or grandparents. My spirit was completely broken by their continual abuse of me.

I think most people here have been very patient with me. I just realized this today that it has helped me to come out of my shell, to say no, to have good boundries and to be patient with others who do not agree with me and yet I am still learning and growing.....

Thanks to all, you have been my teachers unknowningly. I am so very grateful to have been able to practice this skill. And it is a skill. I just cannot believe how fast I am learning right now and I feel pretty good about that.

I still make mistakes and mabe always will. But I am really jazzed about this.

Has it helped anyone else to learn how to communicate better? Things that you have learned?

Thanks in advance.

 

[Deleted member 20280]

@gizmo . You Yourself have been one of many inspirational members in my own personal recovery journey in the last short year since I was diagnosed.

I too have fallen foul of the forum rules and my ban had the purpose in that it made me realise that I was drowning myself here nearly everyday.

This forum has taught me not only the ability to communicate better both on and off the forum, but it really has taught me a great deal about myself as well.

:) Laurie

 

[franciemarnie]

I have learned that when I am in a state of overwhelm, to pause and wait before communicating. The world is not holding their breath waiting for my response to anything and I am much more intelligent and articulate in my response to people when I wait until I am more balanced and have greater perspective.

When I am in fight or flight, nearly everything feels like a threatening emergency that must be dealt with ASAP. But it's usually just my body that has been activated into an emergency state by something that is not really a danger. It just feels that way temporarily.

 

[Go Hungry]

I have learned that when I am in a state of overwhelm, to pause and wait before communicating. The world is not holding their breath waiting for my response to anything and I am much more intelligent and articulate in my response to people when I wait until I am more balanced and have greater perspective.

Wow.. This just made me realize that I do that "fight or flight' thing when posting too. Crazy... So I guess there's a lesson right there... :) Crap, now I'm thinking of all kinds of interactions I have wherein I act defensively without even knowing it. How strange.

Good topic, it's been eye-opening already. :D

 

[Deleted member 12723]

Laurie, thank you so much for what you said about me, that was so kind.

Learning how to communicate effectively is a life skill that I have had to learn as an adult so I had so much to learn.

I am so happy for you that you are learning so many things about yourself here.

FrancieMarnie, I too am learning how to pause and wait. Not perfectly, I still screw up, but I am so happy that the learning experiencing of a quality communication is helping so much. It is hard to have to learn these things later in life, but better late than never.[DOUBLEPOST=1404934894,1404934700][/DOUBLEPOST]Go Hungry, I loved your realizations, I have had so many too. Learning how to respond non defensively is a skill not taught to me in my family of origin.

I used to blow up and take things out of context and quite personally at times, and then I felt great shame. I had to shake off the shame and learning how to communicate in a way that is appropriate is a skill, I am now practicing every day.

The things we learn about ourselves in our healing and recovery.