Betrayed Wives Being Diagnosed With Ptsd

[mamachick]

Some of you know that my now husband has a past porn issue and is going...

I am understanding that this group is for the men with addictions and wives are not present. Who is diagnosing the wives? Are the wives going for counseling and being diagnosed? or is the leader of the group suggesting that the wives may have ptsd?

Betrayal does not cause ptsd? However, we are often unconsciously inclined to attract to reliving some form of our past. (children of alcoholics marry alcoholics, etc) I agree with others here that think betrayal causing ptsd is BS.

 

[Anarchy]

Offered without judgement Omar Minwalla, PsyD - The Trauma Therapist Project

Hodge and ladee's questions about pre existing problems are very pertinent.

 

[ladee]

Thanks @Anarchy !. Saved the link to read later.

 

[Gs172003]

I am understanding that this group is for the men with addictions and wives are not present. Who is diagn...

It was the husbands that discussed in the group that their wives had been diagnosed and it was their therapists that diagnosed them.

 

[Gs172003]

I also feel that betrayal does not make for PTSD. It bothers me too and I feel my own PTSD is trivialized...

Agreed. I'm starting to wonder who is truly able to diagnose. Hell....my therapist doesn't even bring up my current husband's issue unless I do anymore because it's not freaking relevant. I understand these women are hurt I really really do. It shatters your world. But....
God I don't even have the words anymore.

Talk to me when you've been abused or the myriad of reasons the people discuss on here on a daily basis. Then we'll have something to discuss.

I don't know what else to say.

 

[mamachick]

@Zoogal-Please feel free to correct me if I am missing something here. You have your experiences that caused ptsd. Then you have a husband with sexual addiction. It is possible that these women have had ptsd before discovering their husbands addiction and have not been diagnosed . Many people never get into therapy and go undiagnosed their entire life. Their husband sexual addiction may bring them to therapy...but what is uncovered....is anyones guess.

I think it is not infrequent that people with ptsd appear to over react to situations (don't know this is the case for these women), but certainly discovering husband has sexual addiction might send person to own therapist quite upset. In exploring their reactions, a history of their own traumas can be revealed.

Some people with ptsd manage symptoms and are productive for many years. It may be an outside factor (problem with kids, marriage, family, employment, etc) that takes them to therapy where much more is discovered.

Just a thought!

They are not saying that husbands addiction caused ptsd are they?

 

[Gs172003]

@Zoogal-Please feel free to correct me if I am missing something here. You have your e...

From what im being told yes, they are saying the addictions have caused it. One husband told the group that his wife " goes to work, comes home, sleeps "

If that's PTSD then I'm sure there's many people here that would take it over what they deal with

 

[Friday]

When did this become a good thing to do?

Never.

But it became common once PTSD became popularized in the news & media. People want something to "validate their pain" :rolleyes: So the fact that infidelity has a 2-5 year recovery arc (instead of being lifelong), and totally different symptoms (rumination is not flashbacks, obsessive seeking out is not avoidance, etc.), and all the rest (not the least of which is a completely different treatment protocol, and a total lack of causality) just doesn't matter to people who want to wear their pain like a red badge of courage for all to bow down before, because feelings are facts!

The only part where it's a "good" thing are for those people for whom infidelity was the stressor that triggered their pre-existing PTSD. Because that happens. The same way any stressor or loss of a coping mechanism can trigger pre-existing PTSD. The only real downside is that infidelity is so sparkly that it tends to nearly roll into the avoidance of trauma symptom of PTSD, as it gives someone a very shiny way to avoid dealing with their trauma (no! It's not that I was tortured by traffickers in an earthquake during a war! How dare you even suggest that I'd be the least bit bothered by actual or threatened death & sexual violence! I'm fine with all that! It's that my husband smiled at a waitress! Hello! Emotional affairs are the real trauma!). Sigh.

 

[mamachick]

@Zoogal-that is nonsense that the husbands addiction has caused it, and on this forum, I think we can all agree on that for sure.

 

[mamachick]

Not everyone with a sexual addiction stops with internet porn though. Some do have behaviors that could be traumatizing.
Sexual addiction is not cheating.

I know of addicts that have drugged and assaulted partner with objects. I know of addict who has abused teen relative. While this addiction can go well beyond cheating and betrayal, there is nothing said here that would indicate any of this.

 

[Gs172003]

Not everyone with a sexual addiction stops with internet porn though. Some do have behaviors that could b...

You can't say it's not cheating for somebody else.
And what you described is abuse.

 

[mamachick]

You can't say it's not cheating for somebody else.
And what you described is abuse.

What I meant to say, cheating at minimal for most, but given the addiction, more for many. Did not mean to sound like I was minimizing the effects.
I agree about the abuse that I described. If thats the case, can cause some trauma.