- Post starter
- #37
Thank you all for the input. It was very helpful and validating as well.
Just as an update to this, I wanted to let you know that I carried on like a trooper. I bought warmer shoes, wore a super warm unfashionable sweatshirt coat, had a heater put into the room and cranked it up. And I wasn't cold. Beautiful!
Except, what happens to me, I have come to realize, is that when I don't pay attention to the cold I rapidly catapult into never never land. It was, in fact, my bodies way of telling me that it was going to shut me down if I didn't pay attention. And that it did. My SO literally dragged me out of the office the last day I was there.... which was about two days worth of ignoring or trying to circumvent this 'cold' warning my body was giving me.
I have given up going to the office. It is too much. I have been being merciless with these attempts since June. I have finally gotten to a point where I recognize that I cannot go into an office to work. That, of course, has led me down a different rabbit hole. The one where I recognize that the rest of my life will most likely be lived in abject poverty and no choices. And, of course the guilt of not helping my SO when he really needs it.
Had it not been for the input of you all in this posting I may well have not gotten to this understanding that I was pounding my body and mind too much with expectations. Thank you all again.
Just as an update to this, I wanted to let you know that I carried on like a trooper. I bought warmer shoes, wore a super warm unfashionable sweatshirt coat, had a heater put into the room and cranked it up. And I wasn't cold. Beautiful!
Except, what happens to me, I have come to realize, is that when I don't pay attention to the cold I rapidly catapult into never never land. It was, in fact, my bodies way of telling me that it was going to shut me down if I didn't pay attention. And that it did. My SO literally dragged me out of the office the last day I was there.... which was about two days worth of ignoring or trying to circumvent this 'cold' warning my body was giving me.
I have given up going to the office. It is too much. I have been being merciless with these attempts since June. I have finally gotten to a point where I recognize that I cannot go into an office to work. That, of course, has led me down a different rabbit hole. The one where I recognize that the rest of my life will most likely be lived in abject poverty and no choices. And, of course the guilt of not helping my SO when he really needs it.
Had it not been for the input of you all in this posting I may well have not gotten to this understanding that I was pounding my body and mind too much with expectations. Thank you all again.
