BPD Borderline traits and how to relate to them

[Gs172003]

My daughter has been diagnosed with borderline personality traits. I don't know a whole lot about it and need to know how to relate to her when she's having trouble. Any ideas?

 

[MrMoonlight]

I'm currently reading a book named "stop walking on eggshells" by Paul T. Mason. BPD seems like an honest struggle for people, not one of total malice if that makes sense a real push and pull for the sufferer. Their deep fear of abandonment makes them want you close and at the same time, their fear of having you close makes them push you away. I guess there are games they play too like "tag". I'm just beginning to learn about this stuff and I need to reread some of this stuff but I recommend the book.

 

[Gs172003]

I'm currently reading a book named "stop walking on eggshells" by Paul T. Mason. BPD seems like an honest struggle for people, not one of total malice if that makes sense a real push and pull for the sufferer. Their deep fear of abandonment makes them want you close and at the same time, their fear of having you close makes them push you away. I guess there are games they play too like "tag". I'm just beginning to learn about this stuff and I need to reread some of this stuff but I recommend the book.

Thank you I will look into it

 

[Sideways]

My daughter has been diagnosed with borderline personality traits.

It would help to know which of the traits she has if you’d like to understand better, because other traits simply won’t be relevant...?

 

[Gs172003]

It would help to know which of the traits she has if you’d like to understand better, because other traits simply won’t be relevant...?

I'm not sure but my guesses are...

Suicidal tendencies, self harm, impulsiveness, fear of abandonment, mood swings

She hasn't told me though. I'm just guessing since I know her.

 

[Cypress]

My daughter has BPD. While everyone in a relationship with her suffers, she actually suffers the most. I recommend checking out BPDfamily.com. I learned so much from that website about how to relate to her. There are multiple forums and one specifically for parents. I also like the book Walking on Eggshells.

 

[Gs172003]

My daughter has BPD. While everyone in a relationship with her suffers, she actually suffers the most. I recommend checking out BPDfamily.com. I learned so much from that website about how to relate to her. There are multiple forums and one specifically for parents. I also like the book Walking on Eggshells.

Thank you. I just started reading that website and it's great. I appreciate it. I have that book on kindle now too.

 

[TruthSeeker]

I'm currently reading a book named "stop walking on eggshells" by Paul T. Mason. BPD seems like an honest struggle for people, not one of total malice if that makes sense a real push and pull for the sufferer. Their deep fear of abandonment makes them want you close and at the same time, their fear of having you close makes them push you away. I guess there are games they play too like "tag". I'm just beginning to learn about this stuff and I need to reread some of this stuff but I recommend the book.

Yeah....my daughter acts like this.......really frustrating.....

 

[melsdid]

As a borderline I think the best thing a parent could do when I'm really struggling with rationality and permanence in my relationships is give positive affirmations and love. Sometimes we just need someone to sit us down and tell us they love us.

Obviously this doesn't SOLVE anything, but most of the obnoxious behaviors from a borderline are caused by a fear of being rejected. We forget that people care about us if we don't hear it for a while, it's silly and something to deal with ultimately on our own (you can't guilt trip for love) but it's always always helpful to hear you're loved IMO.

 

[Gs172003]

As a borderline I think the best thing a parent could do when I'm really struggling with rationality and permanence in my relationships is give positive affirmations and love. Sometimes we just need someone to sit us down and tell us they love us.

Obviously this doesn't SOLVE anything, but most of the obnoxious behaviors from a borderline are caused by a fear of being rejected. We forget that people care about us if we don't hear it for a while, it's silly and something to deal with ultimately on our own (you can't guilt trip for love) but it's always always helpful to hear you're loved IMO.

Thank you

 

[Deanna]

I

I'm currently reading a book named "stop walking on eggshells" by Paul T. Mason. BPD seems like an honest struggle for people, not one of total malice if that makes sense a real push and pull for the sufferer. Their deep fear of abandonment makes them want you close and at the same time, their fear of having you close makes them push you away. I guess there are games they play too like "tag". I'm just beginning to learn about this stuff and I need to reread some of this stuff but I recommend the book.

I use to be like that.. Without medication.

 

[MrMoonlight]

I'm still working my way through that book. Bought the audio version too. Glad you found something to help D.