Relationship Boyfriend has complex ptsd & fell out of love in an evening.

[whatsgoingon]

These statements kind of sent warning bells off in my head, but I'm not sure why. I agree that it is a p...

Hey Dulcia, thanks for your response.

Yeah I'm prepared for how bad things may get and so is he, I've reassured him that I will respect whatever boundaries he sets in the weeks to come but also reassured him that I'm here for him in whatever capacity he needs. In response to what you said, yes these are all things he has said to me before we broke up and after. When I said that he was so upset about falling out of love with me, what I meant was that he was sobbing a lot and clutching his head because he said he couldn't stop it even though he didn't want to push me away or stop loving me. After doing a lot of research, I really believe that the trauma has caused some complex neurological issues that mean he can't process intense emotions properly and involuntarily shuts them off (that's what I meant by the involuntary part). Could you elaborate on the alarm bells you feel? Thank you x

 

[whatsgoingon]

I think something rarely mentioned with overwhelm, is overwhelmed by what? Anxiety? Emotion? Fear?,Stres...

I think in this case, from what he's told me, it's all of what you've just mentioned and because there's so much going on in his mind his brain shuts them all off- the positive and the negative emotions.

 

[whatsgoingon]

I get the sense this has far more to do with his own emotional numbing as a byproduct of his conditi...

Hey caligirl, thank you so much for that kind response, that made me feel a lot better- I believe that too and hope he can work through it, he certainly has the drive and determination to get better which is very positive.

He started seeing his therapist last night and will begin EMDR therapy next week. He rang me after therapy and was very scared and tearful but very grateful for me being there for him, wished I was with him to comfort him and is very keen to see me at weekends but perhaps this will change when EMDR begins, who knows!

Hugs back to you, thank you for your positivity.

 

[Tinyflame]

@mowmorata it means a lot to keep lines of communication open.

 

[lostforgottensoul]

After doing a lot of research, I really believe that the trauma has caused some complex neurological issues that mean he can't process intense emotions properly and involuntarily shuts them off (that's what I meant by the involuntary part).

I'm not sure what you mean by "complex neurological issues" as I do that all the time. Each time an emotion gets to a certian level of intensity actually.

 

[EveHarrington]

I'm not sure what you mean by "complex neurological issues" as I do that all the time. Each...

Ditto. I do this all the time. Not even sure it's not a part of PTSD in my understanding.

 

[Trapped17]

Hi. I just read your post and I wanted to say, I feel the same way as your boyfriend does. And I wish I had someone understanding like you who recognise it's because of the PTSD.

 

[Zapper]

He is rejecting himself or his ability to have a healthy relationship before you may have that chance. As long as he does the breaking up, he is control of his choices which is something that he was denied during his repressed victimization.

 

[whatsgoingon]

Hi. I just read your post and I wanted to say, I feel the same way as your boyfriend does. And I wish...

Hey, I'm sorry to hear that, it must be really frustrating and confusing for you- I hope that you're okay. Do you think your emotions are still there and you've repressed them?

 

[whatsgoingon]

He is rejecting himself or his ability to have a healthy relationship before you may have that chance. A...

Yeah, we're still very much in limbo and his emotions are all over the place. It's very upsetting and confusing for him, I just want his mind to be okay.

 

[Genevieve]

I can "fall out of love" in a heartbeat. (I don't say this to my guy as it would crush him.)

Th...

Thank you so much for this. I think I just needed a little hope that my husband could find his way back to me and our son. It crushes me every time I hear him say that he's not in love with me anymore but that he still loves me "for reasons". We've been married for 14 years and I just can't wrap my head around how he could just stop having deep feelings for me. I don't think he is at a point where he could verbalize his feelings as well as you just did, but your words give me hope...