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Hey everyone,
I was wondering if somebody could give me some guidance. My boyfriend has complex PTSD as a result of long term childhood sexual abuse and had repressed it for over 10 years. When his ex partner broke up with him, all of the repressed memories and emotions came out and were exacerbated by the devastation he felt because of the heartbreak and abandonment of his ex girlfriend. This caused the development of severe relationship anxiety and he developed a defensive mechanism whereby he shuts off his emotions when they become intense.
We were together for 8 months and he broke up with me two weeks ago. We were madly in love and our relationship really was perfect: we both had no complaints, we get on so well and both felt a deep emotional connection to one another. A week before he broke up with me he told me that with both of his past partners, he fell out of love in an evening. I dismissed this and said that this time was different, that if that happened then something must not have been right in those relationships and that feelings are irrational so it's not his fault. He agreed but then the same thing happened to me.
A few days before he broke up with me he told me he could feel it happening again (the emotional emptiness and falling out love) and he was so upset because he didn't want to fall out of love with me at all. He promised he would fight it with everything he had but everyday he could feel it lessening until one morning he woke up and claimed he felt nothing for me, so he broke it off.
I was devastated and refused to believe that he really could have fell out of love with me in such a short space of time when our relationship was so amazing. So I began researching about complex PTSD and have learned that emotional numbing is very common. I just want to know if his love for me is still there and just repressed or if it's likely that it will come back. We were so in love and everything was so perfect until one day his emotions involuntarily turned off. In his mind, because of the relationship anxiety, I am linked to the trauma he feels even though he's very aware that it's nothing to do with me. I'm now a trigger for the relationship anxiety even though he knows he's safe with me.
We've been seeing each other once a week and when we're together everything is completely normal and his behaviour towards me is very loving he says he just feels no positive emotions inside. He's apathetic towards everything, not just me- it's his friends and life in general too. He still cares for me deeply he just doesn't feel like he is in love and he feels like he can't be with me because he doesn't love me. He says he feels hollow and turbulent inside.
He starts therapy this week and the uncertainty and indeterminacy is really upsetting for me. One moment he doesn't want to be with me and the next moment he's crying at the thought of me being with someone else. I'm hoping that his love for me will come back but I don't know if this is possible? Or if he could fall back in love with me?
Thanks so much for reading, I hope someone can help give me some direction of what to do or what will most likely happen.
I was wondering if somebody could give me some guidance. My boyfriend has complex PTSD as a result of long term childhood sexual abuse and had repressed it for over 10 years. When his ex partner broke up with him, all of the repressed memories and emotions came out and were exacerbated by the devastation he felt because of the heartbreak and abandonment of his ex girlfriend. This caused the development of severe relationship anxiety and he developed a defensive mechanism whereby he shuts off his emotions when they become intense.
We were together for 8 months and he broke up with me two weeks ago. We were madly in love and our relationship really was perfect: we both had no complaints, we get on so well and both felt a deep emotional connection to one another. A week before he broke up with me he told me that with both of his past partners, he fell out of love in an evening. I dismissed this and said that this time was different, that if that happened then something must not have been right in those relationships and that feelings are irrational so it's not his fault. He agreed but then the same thing happened to me.
A few days before he broke up with me he told me he could feel it happening again (the emotional emptiness and falling out love) and he was so upset because he didn't want to fall out of love with me at all. He promised he would fight it with everything he had but everyday he could feel it lessening until one morning he woke up and claimed he felt nothing for me, so he broke it off.
I was devastated and refused to believe that he really could have fell out of love with me in such a short space of time when our relationship was so amazing. So I began researching about complex PTSD and have learned that emotional numbing is very common. I just want to know if his love for me is still there and just repressed or if it's likely that it will come back. We were so in love and everything was so perfect until one day his emotions involuntarily turned off. In his mind, because of the relationship anxiety, I am linked to the trauma he feels even though he's very aware that it's nothing to do with me. I'm now a trigger for the relationship anxiety even though he knows he's safe with me.
We've been seeing each other once a week and when we're together everything is completely normal and his behaviour towards me is very loving he says he just feels no positive emotions inside. He's apathetic towards everything, not just me- it's his friends and life in general too. He still cares for me deeply he just doesn't feel like he is in love and he feels like he can't be with me because he doesn't love me. He says he feels hollow and turbulent inside.
He starts therapy this week and the uncertainty and indeterminacy is really upsetting for me. One moment he doesn't want to be with me and the next moment he's crying at the thought of me being with someone else. I'm hoping that his love for me will come back but I don't know if this is possible? Or if he could fall back in love with me?
Thanks so much for reading, I hope someone can help give me some direction of what to do or what will most likely happen.