I found this website one day when I was at a loss with my boyfriend. He served in Afghanistan for a year and I met him 4 years after that. He was diagnosed with PTSD last year and like everyone else we have faced our challenges. I would always google 'boyfriend with ptsd' to read about other peoples experiences and how they dealt with things, as this was new to me and quite different from any previous relationship and not anything any of my friends could relate to or understand. I would read peoples posts on here about their partners being physically and verbally abusive and/or agressive and selfishly think 'oh my boyfriend isn't that bad'. But I often read stories about people describing emotionless partners, partners with no capacity for empathy or sympathy or any overt emotion, partners who were sometimes robots, and tonight I experienced the worst of that. Someone who I've spent 2.5 years with was as cold as they ever have been to me tonight, a complete stranger bluntly telling me they feel nothing and staring back blanky as I begged them to tell me they loved me and that I was hear to support them regardless. Even as I write this he's sleeping in the living room wirh me in fhe bedroom. I don't even know what I'm hoping to get from writing this. I know there is good days and bad days with them, but today has been the worst day and I didn't know where else to go to say this. I guess it's like a kid going to their mom, I just needed to hear someone tell me it's going to be alright.
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Supporter Boyfriend With Ptsd
- Post starter Bc2016
- Start date
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GrayOwl
Gold Member
Greetings.
And welcome.
I am so clueless.
I wish I could say more or have an answer or eloquent solution.
If ever there was a post that defined why this website exists, yours is it.
How do you lead a horse to water? And then have him drink?
Patience, love, and tolerance; understanding and compassion, blended with firm some firm guidelines and "lines in the sand" to protect yourself, and those you care about. Professional therapy is certainly wise - a quality therapist.
Where you draw the line between risk/reward, giving/taking, logic & passion, I cannot begin to answer.
If you have a big heart and really care about this person, then it is certainly worth a lot of work.
"To thine own self be true." Take care of yourself and always be as prepared and strong as you can be for yourself. Have your own personal escape routes and support mechanisms firmly in place and in this manner you can be of maximum service to you both.
Always keep hope alive. But also don't be afraid to detach a some certain points and honestly ask yourself: "Is this worth pursuing? Is this a direction I should keep going? Sometimes we can do the most good by backing off a bit too.
Remember, you are truly special too - and deserve to have a wonderful life too - the mind heals and works in some pretty wonderful ways - if you keep yours open and strong, I think the answers will be there when you need them.
I wish you the very best and will keep you in my prayers. It is a worthy cause. Thank you for posting.
I hope I don't sound negative, because I don't feel that way at all. You have opportunity for mutual healing and a wonderful relationship.
I just don't want you to underestimate the emotional roller coaster ride that it can become at times. There are lows. But there are highs and long term rewards as well. There are people with knowledge and experience here who I'm sure can help and support you both in your journey.
And welcome.
I am so clueless.
I wish I could say more or have an answer or eloquent solution.
If ever there was a post that defined why this website exists, yours is it.
How do you lead a horse to water? And then have him drink?
Patience, love, and tolerance; understanding and compassion, blended with firm some firm guidelines and "lines in the sand" to protect yourself, and those you care about. Professional therapy is certainly wise - a quality therapist.
Where you draw the line between risk/reward, giving/taking, logic & passion, I cannot begin to answer.
If you have a big heart and really care about this person, then it is certainly worth a lot of work.
"To thine own self be true." Take care of yourself and always be as prepared and strong as you can be for yourself. Have your own personal escape routes and support mechanisms firmly in place and in this manner you can be of maximum service to you both.
Always keep hope alive. But also don't be afraid to detach a some certain points and honestly ask yourself: "Is this worth pursuing? Is this a direction I should keep going? Sometimes we can do the most good by backing off a bit too.
Remember, you are truly special too - and deserve to have a wonderful life too - the mind heals and works in some pretty wonderful ways - if you keep yours open and strong, I think the answers will be there when you need them.
I wish you the very best and will keep you in my prayers. It is a worthy cause. Thank you for posting.
I hope I don't sound negative, because I don't feel that way at all. You have opportunity for mutual healing and a wonderful relationship.
I just don't want you to underestimate the emotional roller coaster ride that it can become at times. There are lows. But there are highs and long term rewards as well. There are people with knowledge and experience here who I'm sure can help and support you both in your journey.
Your emotiobal stability is mist important right now. Focus on your love and happiness within. Do your best to be non reactive and adhere to a calm place within. Allow this dark moment to pass. Your emotional stability and kindness wll help your partner feel safe and excepted. It is also imortant for you to establish boundries that will enable you to remain non reactive and shelter you from the sorrows that will consume your partner as he learns to identify and manage his illness better. Thank you for reaching out for help for you both. My love heal your wounds and bless you both!
Last edited by a moderator:
Jeffrey Visser
Bronze Member
welcome on the forum!
you must know that your boyfriend has some serious problems right now and has a very difficult time showing his feeling. all that i can ask u to do is to have patience and support him no matter what and ofcourse let him go to a T.
i hope ur days with him will get better and that u can face this challenge that will come on ur path.
much love jeffrey
you must know that your boyfriend has some serious problems right now and has a very difficult time showing his feeling. all that i can ask u to do is to have patience and support him no matter what and ofcourse let him go to a T.
i hope ur days with him will get better and that u can face this challenge that will come on ur path.
much love jeffrey
EveHarrington
VIP Member
Welcome! :hug:
- Post starter
- #6
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