Sufferer Broken and damaged - childhood sexual abuse

[desperado_143]

I was molested, raped and abused my step father from the time I was 4 until I moved out at 17. My head is all screwed up. Not to mention my mom is still married to this man. We live in a very small community and my PTSD seems to have gotten worse panic attacks are highly likely and very frequent.

 

[EveHarrington]

Welcome. :hug:

Are you in therapy now?

 

[Invisible Fire]

Welcome to the forums. Sorry these things happened to you. You are not alone and we are here to support you.

 

[desperado_143]

Thank you, I am not in therapy now I have been before I don’t think I’ve had the right therapist in the past. It just seems lately to have gotten worse I feel hopeless and damaged all of a sudden. My marriage is going to suffer. I am lost now.

 

[ladee]

And this is how this works, things seem to be ok, and then we get slammed to the ground.

Welcome. I hope this place and all of us here can give you some solid reasons to go forward. Read around the forum. Find topics that pertain to you. Read, and find out you are not alone, that people here will not be judgemental and we do understand how hard this can be.

Glad you are here and that you let us know you are here. Not glad for the reasons you are here, but I do know you do not have to do this alone.

 

[desperado_143]

I am very appreciative, some days I feel all alone. So thank you!

 

[Missycat]

Hi and welcome to the forum.
You will find support here and many examples of others experiences that you may find useful. You will be listened to and not judged.
You mentioned you had therapy previously, have you considered going back in to therapy? Was your therapist a trauma therapist?
As a survivor of csa i can understand how you feel and many on the forum will also understand the difficulties you face with flashbacks and other symptoms, hence why this is a safe place to be.
I wish you all the best.

 

[desperado_143]

I am definitely considering therapy again I just can’t go through telling my history and them not knowing what to do to help the last one just slapped me on meds and sent me on my way.

Thank you for the warm welcome. ?

 

[KimmyO]

I am so sorry! It is horrible what you went thru and the pressure of having to keep it a secret, esp in a small town where everyone knows him and thinks hes a good person, it's like a split personality when they act so good in public and you know their awfulness but can't tell anyone. Praying for you! Sometimes you gotta move to heal, find your own family and see what normal is. Definitely counseling is very important. If you can't afford it, many churches offer it free. Also, to calm your spirit and mind and body down, magnesium malate helps a lot. Ginseng helps get rid of sticky negative thoughts too. I do see healing in your future, but it will be a long uphill path, look for help along the way, accept those who will be there for you. <3 Sometimes we have to go from one extreme to the other in our healing before we find balance Hoping for better days ahead for you and a healed mind body and spirit. Also, reach out to meetups or support groups in person, so you can find a belonging.