C-ptsd Vs Ddnos Etc. ???s

[7Cs]

What an interesting question. I think some of the pairs you identify are, in practice, the same thing...

Yes, I'm referring to the theory of structural dissociation when I talk about emotional parts.

I'm still not sure of the difference of the EP vs emotional flashback. For me emotional flashbacks are like emotional time travel... I am emotionally reexperiencing a past trauma memory and regressed in my mind to the same age I was when it happened. Otherwise I am numb to any emotion regarding certain traumas. Being that EP typically holds emotion or memory that may not be felt or remembered by the the ANP and is "stuck in the past" this seems to also describe an EP.

 

[7Cs]

a crippling conviction that I am worthless

And here is where I'm confused regarding negative self talk and "made thoughts" or dissociative intrusions.

 

[Sideways]

Negative self-talk, for me, can be either cptsd or an intrusion from one of my parts (I'm DID, but I figure this would apply to emotional parts).

In the cptsd version, I have maladaptive schemas, learned from my csa, that cloud my thoughts. It's like wearing a pair of glasses so that everything I hear or experience gets filtered through my "I'm defective" schema. That's where a lot of my negative self-talk comes from.

But I'm becoming increasingly aware that sometimes, it's actually one of my parts intruding with their own criticism of the way I operate. One of my parts hinks I'm weak and can't look after myself. So sometimes, that part starts criticising me in an internal dialogue in my mind.

Hard to tell the difference, but I am learning slowly. Either way, I need to cbt the shit out of it to get to a more rational, self-compassionate headspace. But in answer to the question, negative self-talk can be either my cptsd or my DID parts. Which makes it confusing.

 

[Friday]

How would this differ from impulsive actions? Or reactions to emotional dysregulation?

Damn good question. As my impulse and emotional regulation disorder (ADHD) makes...

Would "made actions" be the kind that seem come out of nowhere (or with intense emotion) and are uncontrolled that are things you would never do. The kind that leave you immediately shocked about what just happened or what you just said?

^^^^
This... Normal life. To the point that I well know I'm capable of anything, and nothing I do has shocked me for decades. Mmmm. Not completely true. Some of the things I did / said as a parent shocked me. That was pretty much my last bastion of "I would never" or "When ABC then XYZ" about something I haven't done, yet. But aside from that I don't think anything has shocked me since I was 18 or 19. Bemused me? Often. But not shocked. (Well. That just came out of my mouth. // Oh. I guess we just went there, didn't we? // f*ck me. I wish I hadn't done that. >.<)

I'm either in control of my impulsivity & rocking out my emotional monitoring & regulation, or I'm not. When in control I can relax control to a degree, but I can always snap it back on command. I'm still in control, I'm simply choosing to be wilder. PTSD f*cks with my control.

The best comparison I can make is being drunk. The things people do/say when drunk, that they would "never" do sober? I do, think, & say stone cold sober. My inhibitions are entirely by choice. Stone cold bitch, pure as the new driven snow sweetheart, and everything in between.

So if I've done it? I would do it. If I haven't done it, yet? I could.

Trauma taught me a helluva lot about what my limits are. Namely? None. So it's all about self control.

***
No DID, here. Lots of disassociation of various flavors.
No structural disassociation. Lots of compartmentalizations.
Some theories of cptsd I don't fit in the slightest, some I'm right smack dab in the middle of.
Comorbid ADHD-c & PTSD.

 

[theshadowoftheliving]

Negative self-talk, for me, can be either cptsd or an intrusion from one of my parts (I'm DID, but I figure this would apply to emotional parts).

This is really interesting to me and one of the things that I can't quite get a handle on.

I was taught, by previous, incompetent therapists, that I didn't have dissociative intrusions of parts, just poor regulation and a propensity for letting flashbacks take me over. (I have trouble getting my distress taken seriously as I am always somehow able to manage a high-powered career despite it all). But none of the treatments for those symptoms helped - they made things worse. So, to me at least, these feel different, although I'm not sure that I can ever define it in the moment.

And isn't an EP/part/emotionally isolated bit of feeling often the same?

 

[Ronin]

<marks thread for future coming to & responding>

For now, thank you for bringing it up.

 

[Ronin]

How would this differ from impulsive actions? Or reactions to emotional dysregulation?

I would say in the sense of self & reality.

As in, in impulsive actions? I still know it's the 'I' that is doing them, there is still voluntary control. It doesn't feel like control hijacked. True, might be more difficult to keep myself in check even with the shitty idea I *know* is a shitty idea, but the sense of a coherent self and reality around me isn't altered. Just the sense of control & ability to (dis) connect thoughts & actions is.

 

[Saria]

I'm still not sure of the difference of the EP vs emotional flashback.

I think an emotional flashback basically is one way to describe how the ANP may experience an EP. Like if/when you are phobic of the trauma that the EP holds, some of it will often still get into the consciousness of the ANP, for example as an emotional flashback. I think the mechanisms are considered to be the same in primary structural dissociation (PTSD) and secondary structural dissociation (e.g. unspecified dissociative disorder), but that the latter have multiple EP. So I don't really know how to separate EP and flashbacks, since they're both present in both PTSD, C-PTSD and dissociative disorders.

And to me @Ragdoll Circus summed it up pretty well. When I was "diagnosed" with C-PTSD (for a clinical study), the focus was affect dysregulation, negative self-concept and interpersonal problems - symptoms often described in personality disorders. For example difficulty regulating intense emotions, believing I'm essentially worthless and having a hard time believing that someone, even my boyfriend, cares about me. On the other hand - when I was diagnosed with unspecified dissociative disorder in addition to C-PTSD, the main focus was whether or not I had amnesia, depersonalization, derealization, identity confusion and identity alteration.

 

[7Cs]

I would say in the sense of self & reality.

I think that's good clarification. Let me make sure I understand what you're saying.


Sometimes you do or say things that are completely "you" but impulsive. Your sense of self has not changed. (dysregulation)

and sometimes you do or say things that feel impulsive while not feeling or thinking like "you"? Your sense of self has changed. (dissociation)

Both seem at the time difficult or impossible to control.

Both are actually you in a sense and eventually can be controlled. Dissociation is likely harder to control than dysregulation?

 

[7Cs]

They're kind of like adding an extra serve of chilli sauce to your standard burger

Mmmmmm

Chili Burgers. (no pickles please)

:D

 

[Ronin]

Both are actually you in a sense and eventually can be controlled. Dissociation is likely harder to control than dysregulation?

Yep, pretty much.

I'm D.I.D. & that itself isn't my issue (or: switching isn't, alterations from the alters' perception of normal are - this gets complicated) - sticking to the basics, you about got the gist of it.

Dissociation being more about (at least in my case) brain's own responses to current stimuli, dysregulation being more about already categorized stimuli processing, and more swayable by decision.

Basically getting how my brain sifts through input vs. deciding what I do with already received input. Two different things. Having received something at all on a conscious level vs. message gotten, now deciding what to do and how fast.